Geno - Under Pressure

[mdemaz]

Flowed nicely..Like..
Dodododo.....Dodododo..
Content was ok, use of metaphors was solid.
Vocab is great, structure is great, syllable count is perfect.

Keep them coming bro.

[mdemaz]

Thanks.

I just felt like I wasn't dropping anything so I did this in the last hour.

Yeah..I figued..It was a pretty average piece for you..

[JamaicanPattlez]

Hmm... not your best, you could do better for a keystyle. I'm jacking this beat though.

[Sam.]

Technically I liked it ,like always.The content was disappointing in comparison to your previous work.

Can I consider this is as a throwaway verse ?

[Dani:)]

I like it i think its very nice work.

[Spyder]

basically what Sam said,

however you need to stop concentrating on multies so much, ya everyone goes through a point
where you wanna overload it. yes it flowed well and the multies didnt seem forced.
but you cant do that on every single one of your pieces.
imagine listening to no one but Crooked I... see my point lol

[Sam.]

Yeah I noticed that too.The way of placing the Rhymes when you're not doing full line Rhyming is getting redundant with every verse that you're using it and all of them seem the same from the face value.I've told you before Multis for you is a natural thing ,don't overdo the same thing,this really hampers the content to a larger extent.In order to follow this Rhyme Scheme you're bound to face a situation where you will run out of Rhymes.Now that would result in forcing of Rhymes and words that you will use won't make sense or may seem outta place(Remember Menzo's verse).Although you haven't really reached that stage yet,but I'm saying this for your benefit,as a friend,as a writer.No wonder you last few drops aren't that good enough.

[Sam.]

Now that would result in forcing of Rhymes and words that you will use won't make sense or may seem outta place(Remember Menzo's verse).

What the fuck are you talking about, dumbass? Remember when I asked you to point out where I had 'forced' anything and you choked like a little fuckin bitch when it came down to crunch time? You failed to actually exemplify where I had apparently forced my rhymes.

Because they seem 'forced' to you as a result of verse structure being boner-points, doesn't make it so. Watch what you say.

And don't go using other member's names when it comes to criticizing or else next time a newcomer drops a piece that doesn't match up numerically in syllables, I'll be sure to remind then, "Remember that retard Sam who has writtens he plans to record but still doesn't know what matching syllables means?"

Why the hell are you tripping man ,calm the fuck down.Seriously you're thinking that I'm saying something bad about you,hellz naw.You did ask me to show the bars where I thought you forced Rhymes and I did post those bars.What if I didn't point out the part where I found some forced Multis,that does not mean I said something wrong and was stressing on it unnecessarily,you yourself admitted that you did use certain words for the sake of it.By mentioning your name I meant don't do what you did,it was more like a general statement.But bro tell who does not know you here and just by mentioning your name here doesn't lower your Image here in any way.You accepted that as a flaw and said on improving on it so what's wrong in repeating that again,what's the big deal homie ? Am I some one you hate ? Naw (Maybe I'm now).By mentioning this here I was making a general reference man,nothing else jeezz ,no need to be so hyper over such small thing man.

Lol, I know what you mean man, thanks, I felt that way too but we all kinda threw this together last minute This is the rhyming I was going for:

"With showering flames, Hell reigns on the earth
Will power and strength, well they never serve
Kill hours with slayin’, I smell pain in the works
Ill, foul and plagued, spells Alieus curse
Undoubtedly crazed, held caged since my birth
Til now, I’m enraged, no escapin’ the hurt
Skill, prowess and sway, fell slain to my verse
You still cower and pray, layin’ maimed in the worst"

I did add a syllable here and there just to make it seem less...point-form-ish, plus in the way I would record this, I have a breath wherever there is a comma, so I have time on the beat to toss in an "I" or "no".

And yes I plan to record my writing’s someday and I'm new to this concepts of Syllable Matching and I'm just learning one step at a time. I just started writing a year ago again after a long time and I never knew these things in the 1st place ,it was Geno, you and others who brought these concepts before me, so I must thank all those helped me out on this. I guess I should stop feeding shit without analyzing what I’m saying them 1st. Geno is not a new member your Homie you alter ego ,nahimean ?

Peace bruh,you mad.

[Spyder]

Menzo on the rag

[JamaicanPattlez]

Hi Rihanna !

[Sam.]

Seriously doe.I was wrong when I had that name drop,okay cool.The main intention behind the reference has nothing to do with you skills or your verse,let me clarify that 1st.I should have mentioned "Remember the feed that I gave to Menzo".What I what trying to convey was the point that I raised about the words being outta place and shit and not the your flaw ,because that was proven wrong by Geno,then and there itself and you know that,right ?.It was a reference to the feed and not the actual work,infact if you read that post again ,I've said the same thing there and used the feed that I gave you as a mere reference ,there was no intention in mocking you.Hell...why would I mock you man,you're a better writer than me and have improved way more faster than me,isn't that enough for ya son?There was no point in reacting with those words,you're treating me as if I'm your most hated enemy or something..I always thought you were my friend,but I guess I was wrong seeing the hate from your side.I have always compared works in my feed ,hell I've pointed out my flaws at times,not only that I've referred to Geno's work too at times,he never said anything.I never thought this would come from you bruh,sorry but I'm ....

Bye Rihhana.

[Words]

Not your best, but not your best is not bad.

It flowed really smoothly, even though you said you were focusing more on the flow and less on the rhyming it didn't really seem that way. Rhyming still seemed very good even though it wasn't your focus. Overall a really great piece for a throw away verse.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Make sure you guys feed my new piece if you haven't already!

[Spyder]

Make sure you guys feed my new piece if you haven't already!

dont advertise man, this is his piece.

if you want feed feed others, dont say here rtf that is silly.
let your name do the talking or hype it up in the Lounge

[JamaicanPattlez]

Make sure you guys feed my new piece if you haven't already!

dont advertise man, this is his piece.

if you want feed feed others, dont say here rtf that is silly.
let your name do the talking or hype it up in the Lounge

Shit, my bad, I sleep-typed that and must've forgotten. Pay that no mind.