Freestyle

[autotooner]

I've been working on my multis during my breaks at work, This verse is compiled of some of the stuff I've came up with over the past few days, let me know what you think. Thanks.

Wonder if I should bomb this lyrical context with hysterical nonsense
Maybe take you on a spiritual conquest, or straight out kill this lyrical bombthreat
Assault you with sonnets that'll make you constantly ponder your content
Cynicism in my lyricism has kids fearing me dropping these songs nonstop
These words are the work of a wise mind goin blind
Trapped in the mysticism as my heart beats to a rhythm when reciting these lines
Incredible isn't it, how wicked his lyricism is, inticing I find
Written Scriptures depicted spitting venom into my mic
Kendall's the mental demon, spitting words in a verse, disperse the lines,
vile rhymes compiled on the page, crying in a rage, shy is what they say,
my style is quiet til they climb in his cage, rattlin the chain,
a psycho guy so far from any kind of sane. Blindin eyes I'm shinin on the Mic,
smilin so demented, spitting shit so wicked, twisted, sick, its ridiculous,
no pretendin when I enter the building, climbin the walls,
timing the calls that bellows from my hallow jaws.

LOF viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133866&p=1808086#p1808086

[Sam.]

Multis were galore but the flow hurt. Some of the lines didn't make any sense at all, work on that.

[Words]

Multies are good, but only when they aren't forced. A multi that hurts the flow of the piece isn't worth it, that definitely happened here. Your multies, though there were many, felt forced at times and really damaged the flow. Keep practicing, and you will continue to improve.

[autotooner]

Thanks for the feedback. Can you show me some of the multi's that you feel were forced, that way I have a reference point for the future.

[Mr.DGAF]

Pretty much what everyone has been saying. But I'll give you credit, you said you were working on your multi game for this piece, and it was good. Now you just have to translate it to a full piece. Multies should never sacrifice what you want to say, you know? That's a problem I used to run into a lot. Multi-rhyming is not always important to writing lines, unless you're just gonna go for some crazy lyrical piece.

That's the beauty with Prime Em's music, his message was never sacrificed for the sake of rhyming. And I know that's an unfair comparison to make for anyone in this section, but basically it enforces what I'm trying to say here. If you could apply some of the rhymes you have here without the overkill, it would make your pieces so much better ya know?

But this is a solid drop for the multies, just try to work on making your pieces have a message while also keeping the rhyming up, so you don't sacrifice what you want to say.

[autotooner]

thanks for the feedback everybody, I have been working on content with my newest piece, I'll try to post it either tonight or tomorrow.