The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.
Board index ‹ Creative Central ‹ Creative Writing ‹ Raw As Ever

Raw As Ever

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.
Post a reply

Raw As Ever

Postby RainMan44 » Dec 16th, '11, 04:37

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/122184/genre ... nd-a-dream


LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=136026



Flow raw as ever, do I claim to be the hardest? Never
Way before you knew my name, I was reppin' for an era
That today's gene----ration just seems to neglect
They in need of a check, I planted the seeds of my wreck-age
Now that I'm here, ain't no rapper capable of stoppin' it
And don't be surprised if your own crew cops my shit
Stop this shit, its silly, just give me the crown
You really foolish thinkin' there's a way of bringin' me down
I've been doin' this close to a 5th of a century now
I'm swimming with sharks, you try to swim and you'll drown
Y'all fuckers need to back off 'fore I finish you clowns
This so called innocent child, developed a menacin' style
Back when I was first kicked a rhyme, hopin' to draw a bit of a crowd?
They hated, best believe whoever wasn't with it, IS NOW!
The most vicious in town, shit is astound-
-ing, they ask how I'm spittin' these sounds? Up to you motherfuckers to figure it out!
Last edited by RainMan44 on Dec 16th, '11, 05:18, edited 1 time in total.
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




GOAT
Image
User avatar
RainMan44
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1093
Joined: Nov 21st, '10, 08:51
Location: CA
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Raw As Ever

Postby mdemaz » Dec 16th, '11, 04:50

That was really fun to read to.
My only problem is the last bar when I nearly fell off my chair rapping it..
LOL, good piece dude.

The bars seem a bit uneven at times, you should get a pattern of slow and fast flow going so it doesn't sound soo random.
ImageImageImage
s/o to Eedee Python CP Horse Snake Pain SaJn Silver Cement Excitaz PK Rolly GW EG Charlotte Kasia Mel Wiz Solace TRex SliK Aone Atone Trimss Menzo Geno Fish Jaba Detroit Blogs Based lil_b IBR DA! Mono ROM NRG Bigray Hesky Francesco Yoda Noddy Raul
Just Silver wrote:I think every guy should massage their prostate at least once

Image
User avatar
mdemaz
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 10208
Joined: Dec 6th, '10, 12:09
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Raw As Ever

Postby RainMan44 » Dec 16th, '11, 04:55

mdemaz wrote:That was really fun to read to.
My only problem is the last bar when I nearly fell off my chair rapping it..
LOL, good piece dude.

The bars seem a bit uneven at times, you should get a pattern of slow and fast flow going so it doesn't sound soo random.



Thanks for the feed man :b:

and lol, yeah the last bar is pretty long, but I practiced this about a good 20 times, I developed a pretty good flow to it. It's on point trust me :happy:
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




GOAT
Image
User avatar
RainMan44
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1093
Joined: Nov 21st, '10, 08:51
Location: CA
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Raw As Ever

Postby J.R. » Dec 16th, '11, 21:13

Dope shit. Really enjoyable to read, flowed wells and just overall sick. :worship:
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Raw As Ever

Postby Sam. » Dec 16th, '11, 21:28

This is some raw ass shit. :b:

From reading this the best part of the whole verse comes out; Flow. It jelled well with beat and that makes this written even more perfect. I really enjoyed Rapping it out myself. The content could have been better, just a little though, but that's just me.Nevermind, good job.
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
Image
Image
User avatar
Sam.
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 16630
Joined: Jun 7th, '10, 11:10
Location: India
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Raw As Ever

Postby RainMan44 » Dec 19th, '11, 04:32

Thanks for the feed gentlemen :b:

Geno, I fed the new piece, some dope stuff bro :y:
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




GOAT
Image
User avatar
RainMan44
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1093
Joined: Nov 21st, '10, 08:51
Location: CA
Gender: Male
Top

Re: Raw As Ever

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Dec 19th, '11, 19:06

Pretty dope, I liked the last line and how you made it long. :y: Flowed really well with the beat, too. Impressive work!
Horsebot3K wrote:
Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

Image
User avatar
JamaicanPattlez
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2656
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 05:57
Gender: Male
Top
Post a reply

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Designed by Zoom dinosaurs
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group