Bashing Christian

[CrashBand]

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=142900

This 16 is kind of a continuation of my last track and is sort of a conversation with
a (stupid, Christian) chick. So the Italic lines are her ignorant responses to my rant haha.

Appreciate all feedback and constructive criticisms.

I’ll try keep it simple like the mind of a Christian
Who keeps tryna preach me divine intervention
Smarter have tried bitch, and I didn’t listen
I’ll look god in the eye and deny his existence
“why are ya dissin’? It must be your envy,
Try a nicer approach,” Fuck being friendly!
You’re the one claiming that gods always right
That’s like claiming you like me cos I’m always nice
We know that’s a lie I’m only nice to your face
My one liners work, like god my timing is great
Your eyes, your smile, your presence, your style
“Thanks you’re so nice,” Did I mention your smile?
“You think I’m pretty, well I think you’re cute”
Bitch I know that, that’s why I’m with you!
Not that hot blonde who thinks that I’m a wannabe and boring
If I said half of this shit she’d probably ignore me

[CrashBand]

ummmmm..... bump

[Eedee]

I like the piece. You have some great rhyming, my favorite probably being "I didn't listen / (de)ny his existence". Shit's cash, dude. I was in a relationship with a Jesus-freak Christian and me being atheist and all, it didn't work out very well on her end, I was happy and accepted her, she didn't accept me anymore, boom we ended, bla bla bla. Anyway, good verse, and I always love me a good bash on the Christian doctrine.

Lovin' the Hitchens signature. Rest in Peace.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Hey, I'm Christian! >:( We aren't THAT crazy! LOL. I like this though, I was entertained. (Jesus loves you doe.) Hahaha. Your rhyming's pretty well done, and I'd like to see more from you! Keep it up man!

[J.R.]

Hey! Very good piece. Never seen you around before...I share a lot of similar beliefs if these aren't just concept ideas..we should collab on something like this sometime. Lemme know!

[Mr.DGAF]

As everyone has said, the denying God's existance line was good man, the first two bars were very well written. It's pretty good until the line about always being nice. To me, the rhyming dropped in quality and you wandered a bit from the topic. The flow was nice all around, but the second half of this 16 is far inferior to the first half, and the first half is quite good. But I just wasn't feeling the last half honestly.

[CrashBand]

Cheers for the feed everyone

@JR, yeah I would be keen to do a piece on this concept.

As everyone has said, the denying God's existance line was good man, the first two bars were very well written. It's pretty good until the line about always being nice. To me, the rhyming dropped in quality and you wandered a bit from the topic. The flow was nice all around, but the second half of this 16 is far inferior to the first half, and the first half is quite good. But I just wasn't feeling the last half honestly.

yeah rhyming always right with always nice
....oh well

and yeah I know I strayed off the 'bashing christian' topic a wee bit but I thought I kept the theme of her being a dumb bitch in the second half haha
Will work on conistency though

[JamaicanPattlez]

Cheers for the feed everyone

@JR, yeah I would be keen to do a piece on this concept.

As everyone has said, the denying God's existance line was good man, the first two bars were very well written. It's pretty good until the line about always being nice. To me, the rhyming dropped in quality and you wandered a bit from the topic. The flow was nice all around, but the second half of this 16 is far inferior to the first half, and the first half is quite good. But I just wasn't feeling the last half honestly.

yeah rhyming always right with always nice
....oh well

and yeah I know I strayed off the 'bashing christian' topic a wee bit but I thought I kept the theme of her being a dumb bitch in the second half haha
Will work on conistency though

That's good. Return some feedback bro! :P

[Words]

This reminds me of similar conversations I've had with religious folks. haha
You had good structure all the way through, good flow to it. It was very easy to follow this hypothetical conversation, almost as if it were happening right in front of me. You detail that you added into it was very good, keep at it. This is the first piece I've seen from you but I would like to see more from you, good shit.

[overgrown]

lol kinda funny. it kept me interested no skimming. i noticed the multiples u got in there.

know that’s a lie I’m only nice to your face
My one liners work, like god my timing is great

liked that one best.
i like it. i think its well written. its got a intro and i conclusion. point to b made.