J.R. (ft. Alieus) - "Creative Control" [Bonus Track]

[J.R.]

Thanks, mine was just. A 16. I had him post this because I'll
Only be on my iPod
For a while and it's kinda hard to from there

[KurthsTheory]

Alright well...the title is misleading. It should be Alieus ft. JR lol.

Alieus killed it the hardest mainly because his verse is crazy long and really lyrical all the while telling a good emotional story as it paints a picture in your head.

This isn't to say JR's is bad, it just looks underwhelming because it's supposedly your track and you have a tiny verse at the end lol. It was still a good verse though man. Emotional.

Keep it up.

I gotta agree with this, that first verse
The second verse was good too, but the first one was great.

[J.R.]

Good job MenzMole

[Eedee]

Geno said it best - really should've been Alieus ft. JR haha.

Nothing negative to say about Menzo's part.

JR, I saw a few times where you could've changed rhymes to make it a multi. You were soooo close on a few times... for example:

"make the cut / breakin' us up" could've been switched to:

"... make the cut,
rap help me from the crib, no way to break us up".

That way, "make the cut / break us up" is a multi.

"giving up / livin it up" could've been "... giving it up / livin' it up" (the way you did it, you were only rhyming 'up' on the end rhymes, which is awful. with givin' and livin' being awkward placed "inners").

Other than that, very simple rhymes on your verse. As I said before, Menzo was the better part of this track.

[J.R.]

Ironic how you do this 12 minutes after I feed your diss. (don't get me next ill be good)

Anyway, thanks

(no whining please)

[Eedee]

Ironic how you do this 12 minutes after I feed your diss. (don't get me next ill be good)

Anyway, thanks

(no whining please)

Sorry, do you want honest feed or not? Trying to help you improve.

You really should try to avoid rhyming the same word ("up" for example, with no other words...).

Wanna know why it's 12 minutes after yours? Reminded me you dropped something. Damn. Not everything is a conspiracy.

[J.R.]

Sorry. And there's a bunch of inners but I see the it and up things you're referring to.

[Eedee]

Lol it's okay. Just trying to help. And yes... there are inners. I'm only saying try to transition into forming multis now. It'll give your drops a more professional feel and multis feel better to read.