Any given weekend

[SliK]

First 16 in a while. Will edit in LOF when I get home from work.

Let's go!


Rollin' on pills I hit the scene to have some luck
I buy two drinks because I seen some random slut
She got nice tits but I'm a fiend for apple butts
And they're ripe for the picking, So these I gather up
With a catcher in place... She's like batter up!
Saddled up, yeah, girls were born to ravage us
And with her morning after pill she gets a morning after fuck (haha)
She seemed tired after breakfast and boring after lunch
The whore has had her fun so I asked her to leave
A cold hearted sentiment, masked with a please
But just before she goes, I laugh and proceed
To tell her why it burns like a match when she pees
It's just one of many drawbacks of disease
Back on her knees, it leaves her "F'd" in the "A"
'If you gave me the clap then I guess it's a trade,'
She said with a smile 'You're infested with AIDS.'

[SliK]

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146279&p=1927603#p1927603

[Mr.DGAF]

Whoa haha, this was dope! Nice rhyming, the first rhyme scheme was quite nice. I think it picked up in the middle, that morning after line was hilarious. You worded this really well; in terms of story, it flowed perfectly. I dunno man, this was really impressive. I liked this.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

great drop dude, I'm glad i read this! the rhyming was great and you transitioned smoothly throughout the piece. Didnt stray from the concept and had some funny lines in there too! nice man.

[SliK]

Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you've all liked it so far.

[SliK]

I wanted to come off as a real obnoxious asshole like all the fucking club rappers do when they talk about apple butts and fucking sluts etc but I wanted to maintain a higher level of lyricism and a twist that most fcking asshole rappers deserve lol.

I appreciate the feed, thanks.

[SliK]

One last bump..

[dmnelson0351]

This was pretty legit. The flow was nice, and not to mention it had humor in it. The story telling was good and it kept me interested throughout. Good shit boss.

[Gummybur]

that was just infuckingcredible...i could learn a little from you, dayum!

[CrashBand]

This was nice Slik. Genuinely reminded me of my writing and content. Great unexpected and funny twist at the end, great rhyming.

Nice piece Slik. The only drawback is quite simple vocabulary. But I don't think the content of the song called for that.