I'll stick to my hand from now on.

[Gummybur]

gf

[Gummybur]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146308&p=1934468#p1934468 LOF

I haven't been putting much work into what I write, I try to write as quick as I can on a post, and write with pencil to work on my accuracy and actual skill.

[060877]

060 - Don't spam please.

I couldn't resist at the "half your family's dead and you expect sympathy" line hahaha

on topic, this doesn't even look like a rap verse, this looks like a random message you wrote to some girl on facebook or something. write it out so we can see the bars/rhymes

[Gummybur]

I'll work on structuring correctly in a little bit and re-post it. I know I can structure it right, its just a matter of not being to lazy. Ill get on that a little later tonight. xD. The rhymes are in there, I just have to clean it up a bit.

[Gummybur]

Oh okay thank you, I forgot I could edit the entire thing into a piece I already posted...thanks!

Whatcha think about it anyhow?

[Sam.]

Mole has errthing panned out. Basically you need to follow what he said. Plus, try to phrase things properly, read the dictionary if you need more words to rhyme with. Practice poetry, read it, observe it. Okay?

[Spyder]

whats with the edit

am i locking this?

[Sam.]

There was a 8-10 bar verse not to long ago.

[Spyder]

prob cause theres no verse there


but i didnt lock it lol

[SajN]

I locked it because it's nothing in the OP anymore...