Eedee - Silent Killer

[Eedee]

LoF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146439&p=1943394#p1943394

Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6bE_bp2Yn0&noredirect=1

* ^ Ignore the annoying tag every once and a while, just keep flowing...
* Trying my hand at horrorcore, which I haven't done very often... but hopefully it went well. Enjoy!

[Chorus] (:19)
"Creeping up, you know that fucking chill you get?
I'm standing right behind you and you're lucky I ain't kill you yet.
You get a sweat.. you can feel the vibrant thriller,
I'm stuck on the island with ya, I'll just be your silent killer." (x2)

[Verse 1] (:40)
She's sitting on the couch watching television while I wait
Behind it breathing silently I smell a bitch, I kinda taste
It too on my tongue, I shake the sense and wait to grip
My fists around her neck, face the twit and say it quick:
"Fuck your little movie, whore, smile for the picture"
It's a groovy little megapixel picture-clicking kick start.
What I mean by that is when I arrive back at my own abode,
I'll stare at that fucking picture and jerk off while I hold my bone.
But hold the phone.. that's still down the road a bit,
I poke her nose for jokes, I'm cold, I found a homing switch.
I target her throbbing vein, I see it pulsing like a fish
Flopping hey, I make her say: "I'm single, thirty, I'm a bitch".
Her sobbing ways just turn me on, I'm getting dirty, "BITE MY DICK!"
The awful state, her body shakes, fingers hurting, time to switch
The other hand grips her tight, "If you do not shout a bit,
It's alright, you might even get an orgasm out of it".

[Chorus] (1:23)

[Verse 2] (1:41)
She calls me the Captain as her arm begins to Crunch,
I'm squishing her up like I'm stepping on something as harmless as a bug.
I'm James Harden with the mug, I'm growing my rapist beard,
Pardon me you cunt, your screams are making me anxious here.
"Place your ear to my chest, my heartbeat is normal, ha,
I'll gobble your dark meat, put my tip in just to torture ya!"
First I need to board 'em up, I don't want 'em peakin' in,
"When I freak your biz, I want you to scream, you piece of shit!
Get on your knees and polish the holly outta Hollywood,
Thought I should tell you you're lucky otherwise your daughter would.
That's what you get for being single now you're the one I kill tonight"
This is real, no pillow fights, turn off the lights, instill the fright.
I squeeze and squeeze. And now she faints,
Pa-lease pa-lease! The ground awaits.
Her coward face is blue and shit, I pick her up and move the bitch,
How's it strange I'm rude to this girl? Get used to it.

[Chorus] (2:42)

[Outro] (3:03)
To make a long story short: arms, gore and blood,
Covered everything in the house that is all boarded up.
"Strong like a giant pillar I bring you the vibrant thriller,
I'm stuck on the island with ya, I'll just be your silent killer..."

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Damn bro nice job at horror core this was awesome!! I saw quite a few inverses in there and probably missed a few too, props on that ( I think inverses are pretty hard to pull off ) It flowed really well although I lost it at some points but thats probably my fault hahah!nice rhymes throughout. I'll feed that EP later! should be dope man.

Nice job dude keep it up!

[Eedee]

Dawgs, I appreciate the feed.

[Mr.DGAF]

Hahaha Captain Crunch.

[dmnelson0351]

pretty fucking sick. I flowed through it nicely. and I like the horror core scene you brought into my imagination. Good shit, keep it up.

[Sam.]

Technically this was very good, the multis, the inverse and what not. But, I'm not a fan of the content, was boring as hell. I don't understand; does horror-core always mean killing and torturing people in varied ways? No, not in my dictionary. It encompasses a lot of things. Heard of Rhyme Asylum? They will teach you what true horror-core is. Punches were week, that Captain Crunch line was corny as fuck. It was like"I stepped on a corn flake, now I'm a cereal killer" type of punch. Don't worry, Rhyme Asylum will teach you how to do punches too. Do it.

[Eedee]

Technically this was very good, the multis, the inverse and what not. But, I'm not a fan of the content, was boring as hell. I don't understand; does horror-core always mean killing and torturing people in varied ways? No, not in my dictionary. It encompasses a lot of things. Heard of Rhyme Asylum? They will teach you what true horror-core is. Punches were week, that Captain Crunch line was corny as fuck. It was like"I stepped on a corn flake, now I'm a cereal killer" type of punch. Don't worry, Rhyme Asylum will teach you how to do punches too. Do it.

I don't blame you, man, the topic was just your typical slasher, trying to fit as many rhymes in as possible horrorcore piece which can get boring after a while since everyone does it basically.. I honestly didn't try to do any punches in this rather than straight rhyming. The Captain Crunch line was just a play on words, not trying to do a full on punchline there. But I do see what you mean, it's terrible haha.

Thanks for the feed, though. I appreciate it, Sam.

[Spyder]

gotta agree with whats been said, seems like the over-played horrorcore stereotype of killing people on an operating table in the cellar.
the multies and flow were nice and really saved the piece. you know what ur doing, so just work on originality and different topics than whats been beat to death

[Block]

You've gotten significantly better since the last time I read anything from you. Good job.

Right now, my only criticism is that your word count per bar is exceptionally long in some parts. The flow gets lost due to the fact that in those particular bars you're only rhyming at the end of each bar. It gets much better in the second verse though.

This ain't my type of style, but good job on this.

[Wreck]

This was dope.

Flow was real good
Concept was good
Storytelling was the best aspect of this piece IMO
Multis were nice too.

Both verses were nice, but the 2nd verse was by far my fav. Fav. part(s):

"I'm James Harden with the mug, I'm growing my rapist beard,
Pardon me you cunt, your screams are making me anxious here.
"Place your ear to my chest, my heartbeat is normal, ha,
I'll gobble your dark meat, put my tip in just to torture ya!"

Good job, keep it up, but don't do horror core too often, at the same time

[Atone]

i read this in the voice of Rob Zombie or Marilyn Manson slowly rapping it in a creepy way and it sounded bad ass

great multi's, great imagination, the story was awesome

[Eedee]

Good looks! Thanks guys.

[Eedee]

Damn, Geno and Menzo are feeding me again. The world really is ending soon...

Nah, kidding. Thanks guys!

[EvryOnesACrtc]

This was very enjoyable. Filled with rhymes everywhere. I especially liked the chorus. I wish it would've had a better ending though. Maybe like a twist of some sort. Otherwise, great drop.