New Generation

[J.R.]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=152757&p=2087562#p2087562

Soul searching is hard to do when you're faced with lies,
If you're hurting for the night, when the sun comes up, chase the rise.
Do you even get this lyric? Or are you too crazed and high?
I sing it, do you hear it, put the drugs down, don't outphase the sky..
Like, What would you do for a blunt now, or drugs now, or a drink soon?
Would you sink to the level of "dump down" or put your life in doom?
You would? How bout your friends, them too? You're fuckin twelve...
You shouldn't be worrying about men or drugs to sell,
You bought those, so let me tell and sell you something else,
Dude Hop was right when he yelled "Y'all is cockthirsty",
and it's true, he was right, y'all got herpes, (and early!)
You heard me, it isn't spite, these kids isn't worthy,
Y'all ain't the future, it ain't right, too undeserving.
ya I'm hurting, I'm angry, mad, I'm represented by you,
Turning my back on this sad, demented excuse for a "youth"
Truth is you probably ain't gonna amount to shit,
Ludicrous to think but y'all dumb, barely count to six.
Oh and I'm prick? Fuck that and fuck you, you deserve it,
you heard it, over the slurps of you sucking the dick (Baby work it!)
You wanna act like an adult at tweleve, fourteen? Back to earth bitch.
You can't be a hooker at ten, no shit to sell, and you can't swerve it.

[CanadaPure]

I don't think you could have hit the nail on the head any better. It reminds me of when I was in my final year at my highschool, the grade 8's (we were 8-12's) came in dressed like hookers or gangsters. It was a mind fuck.

[PAINKILLƎR]

Wow that was dope, love the topic you spoke on. Flowed really well, very well written. Awesome job

[Mr.DGAF]

This had a surprising amount of genuine good ideas. Some of it was set up by filler words, but nothing to take away from the piece too much. The flow was pretty good, it took me a few tries but I got it. The message was well written though, and like I said, there were some genuinely really good lines in this. Keep it up dude, really strong way to come back.

[J.R.]

Thanks guys. I know I'm not very good and I'm looking to genuinely improve, it has been a while again. I've got to stop with these breaks and try to write once a day, at the very least.

[EmTV]

This was dope. Not even worried about the Tag-Team Tourney much anymore. With time comes improvement though. I liked it start-to-finish.

[Eedee]

Ah shit. Good to see the CW section active again. I'm going to start posting here more too.

This was surprisingly good, J.R. I wasn't sure what I remember about your rhyming or topics but this had both, it's been a long time since either of us have really dropped anything, I think. Or I'm just dumb... I dunno haha

Keep on dropping, let's get this place active again (thanks to Pain and CP).

[EvryOnesACrtc]

This is very deep shit. I liked it. A lot of kids around that age need to see this lol I've seen it all too much, and you've expressed/addressed the situation very honestly. You did justice to the subject matter. Btw, you've improved a hella lot. Before, you used to be too focused on multies and your content suffered because of it. Now, though, you've found a balance.

[tadpole25]

very good. the multis and message was there. the flow was original and effective. some lines had a few too many syllables which is why you should count them ,but otherwise solid.

[J.R.]

Thanks to everyone who commented.

[Ka0t1c]

wow, you have a smooth poetic feel with a good amount of vocab to pull this off, but i think it falls off topic and brings this piece down in negative light