Cutting Trees

[Spyder]

LOF

Little Jackson by the bay side, made it his nest
Sunrise be his playtime when the day is still fresh
Leaves decorate the gate and many graves of his pets
Reminded of all the times that he laid them to rest.
Spots an old oak in the yard through the clear
Went back to his house when it sparks an idea...
Grabbed his paint brush, and ran back so eagerly
Thumbtacks and streamers be covering the scenery,
Started at the base in which he scribbled "mom"
Smiled at the simplicity and the he continued on.
On the opposite side, decay, and no plants did grow
So it’s only right that's where his Ant should go.
Jack stopped for a minute and put his head down
In memory of her, kinda glad she dead now.
All those nights he was babysat, had it to the brink
Being beaten thinking maybe that, she had too much to drink.

Hook 2x
We all just sit back and say, let life come to me
Till its too late and were all, just cutting trees

He started climbing to the top no longer afraid
Got to his place and let the brush just drop in the paint.
No branch he spelled "daddy" he tried to paint air
Thought it was fitting since his daddy ain't there.
But all the drops did was fall to the grass
Lost in the dirt, so awful he hurt but it’s all in the past
He climbs higher and higher ‘til he reached the top
These shriveled sticks he labeled "grammie and pops."
The highest on the tree and in his highest regards
But time isn't free and they're with the highest, his god.
Thinking bout the sleepovers, stories, and life lessons
Now their lives ended he still tries to forget them.
He looks down at the base, moms all he has now
He is happy with his work as he climbs back down.
Grabs his supplies, hands dabs at his eyes
Walks away from his tree with passing good-byes.

Hook 2x
We all just sit back and say, let life come to me
Till its too late and were all, just cutting trees

~A decade later~ he wakes up alone in his bed
to the answering machine, it talks and it says…
“Jackson your moms had a lot of damages
She had a stroke and man her heart couldn’t handle it.”
He drops on the floor, after hearing she didn't make it
Heart has been torn, couldn't sit still from the shaken.
No matter what pill he's been taken
It’s a faulty plug to fill what's been vacant.
Hops in his truck swerving through traffic
The fact that he made it, is basically magic.
Passes all the places that he knew in his past
Destined to go back in to his usual tracks.
He got to the tree all covered with vines,
And took an axe where the word "mother" resigned.
Cut it to pieces in the river, tossed em on the bed
Then on the stump painted "me" cause that's all I have left.

Hook 2x
We all just sit back and say, let life come to me
Till its too late and were all, just cutting trees

[PAINKILLƎR]

Wow that was deep mane, I thought you were going to record this too, no? Well it flowed good for me. Anither great drop.

[Spyder]

yes its being recorded

as well as my last track

[Just Silver]

it flows quite well the subject might be a little too deep on audio if not delivered correctly

it seems to switch up flows after a few bars which could sound nice with the right beaf

the chorus i loved the first line but once it got to cutting trees i lost interest

as a whole well written piece makes me want to write but im still not sure i can mobile post a song


Rating : 8/10 Best Skill On Song :Flow and Imagery

[Spyder]

thanks man, its a little more upbeat than it seems lol with a little more faced place flow
no double timing but not the dreary slow flow it may seem by reading it

[CanadaPure]

I like it very much Spyder. I want to make precious love to your writing.

[Just Silver]

This piece inspired me to sign up for the tourney

[Spyder]

ill be ur pahtnah brah

[PAINKILLƎR]

ill be ur pahtnah brah

:') beautiful

[Just Silver]

ill be ur pahtnah brah

hell ya
Painkill r will tell u about my vita situation

but thanks

[Ka0t1c]

deep and dark, some of the rhymes didn't work well for me on the first verse, but on the 3rd verse, it's definitely there, what a story!

[Spyder]

thanks for the feed man

[Sam.]

Fuckin awesome execution of the concept. Nice and cleverly done, man. The story was simply told, nothing tooo *Bling Bling* about it, yet, the way you ended it was really fabulous. I think the leap came too fast, you should have let the story build and then introduced the leap; maybe an extra verse.. That's my opinion, though.

You down for a collab, Spyder?

[Spyder]

yea man, and i get what your saying and i actually thought of that.
i didnt know if four verses would be more than what people wanna read haha

hit me up doe

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Very nice. I didn't think you were capable of doing anything besides battle raps, but you executed this fairly well. It was real deep.

Personally, I don't like subject matters like this, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. I think a guy like you, who has good wordplay ability, should play around with other topics that aren't as boring as this lol