chargin the waters

[Ka0t1c]

link of feed http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=153387&p=2104890#p2104890


i keep restartin cuz i think i'm retarded
but we aren't in stinkin kindergarten, so when will i smarten?
i'm sinkin farther, it's killin my spark and i'm pealin apart
yet i'm still spillin my heart well guarded, shielded and hardened
buildin my armor to conceil what's scarred
but should i really discard my jargon or can i sharpen my bars
then enlargen to star before i'm too far in the dark to target the larva?
cuz i'm starvin to carve into the charts
pardon me sharks, i'm chargin the waters
and markin my charters, marchin til i'm martyred

[tadpole25]

i like the last line a lot. it sounds a little like the flow of MMLP. some rhymes are a bit random, but overall it flows perfectly. it's short, but its quality.

[Ka0t1c]

no, nothing's random, they all have a purpose, maybe too abstract?

[Kill You]

I like the rhyme scheme, simple but effective. Nice work.