CanadaPure - Walk My Life

[CanadaPure]

Decided to write something a little more serious, for something to do

LoF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=153988&start=15#p2112727
Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JYcYW1KhwI

We all change, but I pray that I stay the same
When I say my name I stay proud of mistakes I made
They say I'm great, but I'm enveloped in a need
To feel and scream and I've developed sinners greed,
Shut the hell up its just me, that same gifted child
With pain in his smile, and who paints drifted idols
Acts distant and wild, I'm sorry, did you say something?
Golly, but hey buddy this is my story, you say nothing!
I'm fucking sick of never getting in my side of the argument
Am I incompetent? Maybe I need support guys, are you it?
Hardly bitch, Always played sideline, hell, I am deprived
but though my idle mind I finally yell "I am alive!"
My eyes scan the skies looking for another hateful god
To take the walk of death out of my distasteful thoughts
Let's face it, not anyone would care except those close
And those folks would only say at best "No... Don't"
And know though, to see me really, a lot of times,
You'd really need to meet me... and walk my life

My life isn't rough, though sometimes it's enough,
To make me pack up my stuff run, hide and its tough
But inside thats a bluff, I'm just talkin' to cope
I'm a lot duller thought I tend to make off-colour jokes
I want ya' to know I'm okay even when I seem upset
I've been depressed, I think that what I mean is that
I've seen the steps to keeping myself in a good mind-frame
Or should I say good mind games keep me stood in-line, sane
I'll just foot the grind, stay only in my own business
So dont poke you nose in it, unless I hold you close with it
I suppose I go swimmin' in my own typography too much,
I'm honestly addicted to rhyme, walk with me you'll touch
Upon probably a little bit more than you expected to see
'Cause whats expected of me is what I've pretended to be
What my parents meant me to be, and I'm a disappointment
But I don't get disjointed, they love me and its more important,
To me to be supported, but to see me really, a lot of times,
You'd really need to meet me... and walk my life

When I was a little kid I used to wonder what it'd be like
To grow up and not have to see fights, damn it'd be nice
But it seems like we never really grow up how we want
Use to believe in god but now it's cold, drown in my thoughts
But I dont identify with the Atheists, or with the Christians,
Because I'm sick of the hating shit, and with the bitchin'
Basically the big thing is we're all just human beings
truth of it being it's impossible to have you kids agreeing
And isn't it, sad that I've lost friends over religious shit,
That's pigeon shit, arguments so broad I could put my fist into it
Listen kids, I don't care what you choose to believe in,
As long as your keepin' it to yourself and dont make me breath it in,
And we can agree that it's stupid to argue and get rude
Over Jesus and Gods that neither I or you can yet prove
Same goes for my thoughts, I dont need some half-ass brigade,
Trying to spray my opinions, thats all I have left to say,
Meet me tomorrow or today, but to see me really, a lot of times,
You'd really need to meet me... and walk my life

Feed me like one of your fat-bitches.

[PAINKILLƎR]

That was insanely good, It flowed great, great beat choice. I love this so much, very personal. I saw myself in that verse I found it very relatable. Probably my favorite song by you. Well done bru

[Eedee]

I am prepared to say that this is dope.

[CanadaPure]

I am prepared to say that this is dope.

Are you really doe

[Eedee]

I am prepared to say that this is dope.

Are you really doe

Yes.

This is dope.

[Sam.]

Well, to be honest I'm a tad bit disappointed at this. Surely, it seems dope on the face value, but the real question is "Does it live up to the hype?"; answer would be not quite. I'm not flattered like the last one. This one here had a very difficult flow, and I couldn't flow at all during the middle portion of the 1st verse. The "child/idol" rhyme seemed forced. Content wise you were clear as to what you are trying to say, but somehow you seemed to struggle to bring it up. Some may disagree, but that's how I honestly feel about it.

The way you ended each verse was clever; few highs of this drop. Again, the syllable didn't add up at places and there was a mismatch like this one here "good mind-frame/stood in-line, sane". The 'in' spoils the multi completely. You seemed to be uncomfortable with Multis throughout the verse, doe. Work on it.

[CanadaPure]

Well, to be honest I'm a tad bit disappointed at this. Surely, it seems dope on the face value, but the real question is "Does it live up to the hype?"; answer would be not quite. I'm not flattered like the last one. This one here had a very difficult flow, and I couldn't flow at all during the middle portion of the 1st verse. The "child/idol" rhyme seemed forced. Content wise you were clear as to what you are trying to say, but somehow you seemed to struggle to bring it up. Some may disagree, but that's how I honestly feel about it.

The way you ended each verse was clever; few highs of this drop. Again, the syllable didn't add up at places and there was a mismatch like this one here "good mind-frame/stood in-line, sane". The 'in' spoils the multi completely. You seemed to be uncomfortable with Multis throughout the verse, doe. Work on it.

How do you pronounce child? It might just be me, but I pronounce it more like "Chi-yold". Other than that, I agree with you. You also used a semicolon in your review, and that impressed me.

Though, your first paragraph seemed forced compared to the last one. Work on it.

[J.R.]

I liked how you transitioned into each line, smooth. I liked how the flow never went off track, and also, how you ended each verse. Not a lot of multis and your first paragraph seemed a tiny bit...forced? but it was dooope. return the feed?

[CanadaPure]

I liked how you transitioned into each line, smooth. I liked how the flow never went off track, and also, how you ended each verse. Not a lot of multis and your first paragraph seemed a tiny bit...forced? but it was dooope. return the feed?

Yeah I totally agree with both you and Sam in regards to it sounding a bit forced and lacking rhyming tbh. It's not really a subject matter that I'm used to, but I didn't want to fall into the trap of only doing the same thing over and over.

[J.R.]

I liked how you transitioned into each line, smooth. I liked how the flow never went off track, and also, how you ended each verse. Not a lot of multis and your first paragraph seemed a tiny bit...forced? but it was dooope. return the feed?

Yeah I totally agree with both you and Sam in regards to it sounding a bit forced and lacking rhyming tbh. It's not really a subject matter that I'm used to, but I didn't want to fall into the trap of only doing the same thing over and over.

At least you're progressing as a writer though dude, some people never do that.

[Sam.]

What's wrong in using ;? What forced? What are you trying to say, lol?

[CanadaPure]

What's wrong in using ;? What forced? What are you trying to say, lol?

I was just joking.

[Sam.]

You dick, I was furious at one point.

[CanadaPure]

You dick, I was furious at one point.

That's why they call me Richard