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Lost in the Raindrops [1]

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Lost in the Raindrops [1]

Postby J.R. » Feb 8th, '13, 18:15

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=153988&p=2113156#p2113156
This was supposed to have HollyWood Undead's "rain" beat, but I couldn't find it on my ipod. Did my best to memorize it, so sorry if flows weird. Look it up if you want.

The days fade as the months glaze away,
You say stay but why would you sit then play?
The years move on and are gone like the seasons change..
I'm teased with the breeze of fall, but beat with rain.
If I could seize the days, and slow em down to a stop.
Jesus christ, caught myself lounging a lot..
downing the months away, spend my nights under the bay,
I'm a bum, futures bent to it's dismay.
Wondering like a stray, no place to go, not homeless,
but just know this, I have no ends, y'know? it hurts its..
its.. it makes me feel worthless, like dirt, shit..
no one cares that I've told this, they're all souless,
or they don't show it, and I've lost my days of youth
and my lease on life is blue and doomed.
why does my youth feel so consumed?


(HU) I don’t mind, no I don’t mind, I don’t mind the rain
The simple things and subtleties they always stay the same
I don’t mind, that I don’t mind, no I don’t mind the rain
Like a widow’s heart
We fall apart
But never fade away (fade away)


Go through six years, being a quick wit,
Now just like this, I'm a little dip-shit,
which is awful, grades go from f to a's.
it's like my head and my mind went separate ways..
left a daze by my "no effort" craze,
hopped on the train, luckily for me I kept my brain,
I was able to arrest that pain, and for a second, stop the rain..
it was slained, but drip.. drip.. it came back,
the rain was layin down for a second attack,
i prepared to fight and I heard "jack, relax"
I looked into the night, and heard a chorus of clacks
I was walking through a path, but no rain hit me,
the rain then whispered, 'hey jack did ya miss me'
I ran quickly, but the shield of rain stayed around me..
I yielded, and as I frowned, it said "you and me are bound see?"
no one hangs with me, cause this rain found me..


(HU) I don’t mind, no I don’t mind, I don’t mind the rain
The simple things and subtleties they always stay the same
I don’t mind, that I don’t mind, no I don’t mind the rain
Like a widow’s heart
We fall apart
But never fade away (fade away)
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Re: Lost in the Raindrops [1]

Postby Sam. » Feb 8th, '13, 22:58

Quality stuff, man. You're improving, still seems raw around the edges, but that's fine with me. The flow is awkward, but, somehow it's ignorable.
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
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Re: Lost in the Raindrops [1]

Postby CanadaPure » Feb 9th, '13, 01:16

I liked it, I agree with sam on it being a little rough. It was quality though, just keep doin' what you do and with every drop you'll get better.
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Re: Lost in the Raindrops [1]

Postby Just Silver » Feb 20th, '13, 04:30

liked it sorta had a rough flow chorus short and sweet

and the drip...drip sorta sounds like filler but its whatevs
overall ok piece not bad
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