The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Someone critique this!

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Someone critique this!

Postby Halftongue Dre » May 17th, '13, 21:00

feedback: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=159335&p=2187373#p2187373

This might not tickle anyones ears much but I try to glorify the Lord in my writing sometimes. I already posted this but didn't get any feedback. Maybe here someone who reads it will critique it a bit. Whatever you guys think I'd appreciate what advice you can give. Here it is


Abort morphing
Into a short coming support for distortion
As you resort reporting and conform to the power in authority
Shower down and swarm around you with a warning
But not doubting
That you'll make it through the path that's thorny
When it's surrounding
Forcing you to allow Him
To restore you
Found when
It was bound to adore you
Not that
It's important
That you must show your for it
Giving back the glory careful not to absorb it
Prefatory to the story of the Lord's wish
To repair your torn wings
So that you won't fall or parish
Never having to forfeit
Whatever the storm brings
Reinforcing you to put your priority's into portions
Remorse when it pours fourth and get sorted
Sophist and opposite opposing whats obviously morbid
Coming to the Lord spent with nothing left to do but to worship..
User avatar
Halftongue Dre
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 434
Joined: Aug 14th, '12, 13:36
Gender: Male

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users