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Some Weird Shit

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Some Weird Shit

Postby SpiderDiaze » Oct 13th, '13, 16:25

http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=164448&p=2367913#p2367913

A weird mutant creation before birth my mom took part in strong masturbation
Now I have a fetish for hand sanitizer squirting that shit on my hand jacking off without hesitation
Black tea is for faggots real gangsters drink green tea
That shit is full of nutrients going for a wee you will no longer see yellow pee
Charles Manson is a fucking faggot, British be liking Scottish haggis
Scraping my dick along a cactus shit needing a lot of practice
Fuck standing on unattended plugs lying on the floor like it’s an LA thug
Wanting a pet pug to cut off its head, giving its headless body a great big hug
It’s a male so I’ll call it Doug
Man fuck this shampoo it isn’t getting rid of my dandruff
Shit it’s snowing outside god is scratching his dandruff
If I eat this fresh sweetcorn I’ll grow up big and buff
Fuck these odd socks, one is yellow and one is pink
Slicing my wrists, squirting the blood in the kitchen sink
Shania Twain might have a crush on me, she gave me a kinky wink
I will fuck that bitch up the asshole, knock her into next week
Banging that asshole in third gear, Hank Hill’s truck just hit a motherfuckin deer
Right ok, I’m going to offer this bitch a beer
I’ll see you all next time around, not if I win a million pound
Sheep’s go bah and horse’s go neigh
Holy fuck just realised its payday, my cock is bigger than Ray J
Bees, sneeze, and breeze I cannot rhyme for fucking shit
But I have an itchy leg I think my dog has giving me fleas
Sneezing in homeless people’s faces
Peeing in their coffee cups, kicking them in the face needing braces
Lucky I never used a blowtorch I’d leave them faceless
TRShady's neighbourhood Spiderman!

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web, any size.
Catches thieves- just like flies.
Look out! Here comes the Spiderman.


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Re: Some Weird Shit

Postby Just Silver » Oct 13th, '13, 17:23

this was decent for a first here :y:

just work on structure in the beginning some flow ran off but overall you can probably switch it up in most situations
some funny shit and gross visuals

id like to see a more serious piece but i cant say much cause its your first and i need to work on my different styles myself :sweating:
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Re: Some Weird Shit

Postby SpiderDiaze » Oct 13th, '13, 17:32

Just Silver wrote:this was decent for a first here :y:

just work on structure in the beginning some flow ran off but overall you can probably switch it up in most situations
some funny shit and gross visuals

id like to see a more serious piece but i cant say much cause its your first and i need to work on my different styles myself :sweating:


Thanks for the feedback bro, whatever visual you have either funny, disturbing and just plain weird just throw it out there. Some very mysterious shit mind fucks the listener or reader. Thanks again bro :y:
TRShady's neighbourhood Spiderman!

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web, any size.
Catches thieves- just like flies.
Look out! Here comes the Spiderman.


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Re: Some Weird Shit

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 13th, '13, 18:09

The verse does the title justice, this really is on some weird shit lmao. Your rhyming is good, but some of the bars are too long and could be shortened and have the rest of it carry to the next line, if you get what I'm saying. This is good for a first drop, keep at it. :y:
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Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

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Re: Some Weird Shit

Postby SpiderDiaze » Oct 13th, '13, 18:13

JamaicanPattlez wrote:The verse does the title justice, this really is on some weird shit lmao. Your rhyming is good, but some of the bars are too long and could be shortened and have the rest of it carry to the next line, if you get what I'm saying. This is good for a first drop, keep at it. :y:


Thanks for the feedback bro, appreciate it :y:
TRShady's neighbourhood Spiderman!

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web, any size.
Catches thieves- just like flies.
Look out! Here comes the Spiderman.


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Re: Some Weird Shit

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Oct 13th, '13, 18:24

Diazepam150mg wrote:
JamaicanPattlez wrote:The verse does the title justice, this really is on some weird shit lmao. Your rhyming is good, but some of the bars are too long and could be shortened and have the rest of it carry to the next line, if you get what I'm saying. This is good for a first drop, keep at it. :y:


Thanks for the feedback bro, appreciate it :y:


No problem. Return the favor? :flower: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=164818
Horsebot3K wrote:
Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

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