Reflect

by **Just Silver** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:13

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=167073 feed

I can feel the drugs altering my sense of me
Fuck it is my fault guess it's meant to be
But eventually, I gotta stand on the thin ice
This is fucking real life as I man I need to realize
Life aint no set of jokes need a new schedule
I need to just forget to smoke ,not a necessity
Pot is getting me, nowhere as I look closer in the mirror
Hoping I dont become my father that's what I fear of
Addiction im aware of it's in both of my parents
A disease with no clearance you get it there's no medics
You live it and you sought for it all the pot hits or capsules
I'm reaching out for god but satans up to battle
Shaking like a rattle from the drugs withdrawing sucks
Im gonna get up on my saddle and get out this dust
Man the fuck up get out of a laying position
I wanna display my intuition working in businesses
Maybe get college assistance fuck sippin the liquor
Wits been slipping since my lighter flickers twistin a big one
Ive heard all the bickering someday wish to get beck a ring
I need to turn the tables like a dj when sampling
Gotta be the man of things im ready and pumped
Just let me throw up the insanity of life is nuts

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:33

Nice. I liked the rhyming and flow in the middle towards the end. I feel like you got off to a rocky start but then you had a Rocky finish. Good job bro.

by **Just Silver** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:34

Thanks guy I think lol

And yea I was experimenting a little with flow

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:36

No I liked it. I feel like you could expand more and work more on the subject matter. I don't know. I feel like I liked the rhyming/flow better than what you were saying/how you were saying it. Just my thoughts...

by **Just Silver** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:39

I get what your saying lol ya it happens sometimes I get stuck in certain flow and just keep going

But overall I always make sense even if I gtta break it down

by **IBasicallyRage** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:42

It's good man, everything you put out is great. I like reading what you have man. Keep it up. The flow is aight, just expand.

by **Just Silver** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:42

Will do im tryin for a few pieces a week

by **IBasicallyRage** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:43

by **Just Silver** » Dec 7th, '13, 03:44

Thanks guy I need some detailed feed so I can improve on my weakness

by **sneakerheadshady** » Dec 7th, '13, 18:18

shit silver this is dope.

1. i love this topic. if this is really how you feel, then maybe you should try quitting, its only good for you if you do. I agree with most of the stuff you said in here.
2. Your rhyming in here is good, you multis seem mostly back to normal, i few end rhymes where off in some places, but the great topic distracted me form any major mistakes (if their were any)
3. Good vocal usage, the imagery was nice too, especially the lighter line.

Really good piece fam, only thing to really work on is solidifying end rhymes before adding tons of multis

by **Just Silver** » Dec 7th, '13, 18:26

Thanks guy :y:

I felt I went too personal lol I feel weirdabout the whole if im addicted thing

by **sneakerheadshady** » Dec 7th, '13, 21:35

Just Silver wrote:Thanks guy

I felt I went too personal lol I feel weirdabout the whole if im addicted thing

nah sometimes personal is better, you know? other times (i.e. adam my faggot cousin) being personal isn't as good

by **Just Silver** » Dec 7th, '13, 23:15

Yea lol im gonna do another concept soon

by **sneakerheadshady** » Dec 8th, '13, 01:13

Just Silver wrote:Yea lol im gonna do another concept soon

sick

by **shadyblogger** » Dec 8th, '13, 03:31

Just Silver wrote:Yea lol im gonna do another concept soon

Cool

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