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Machetes in London

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Machetes in London

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Feb 8th, '14, 07:06

LoF

inspired by a horrific video Trimss showed me lol Image the piece doesn't really correlate with the video much but that's irrelevant. Enjoy.

Take time to sit inside my inner thoughts and read what the thinker hides
A gritty ride and when you're in you'll find a kid with the wit to strive
In life, and he knows how the world works, all it's ills and bitter ties
It's eat or be eaten, yet he keeps that aside and waits for fitter times
And he'll stay starving till he reach the finish line, then it's dinner time
That's why the boy never sleeps, always keeps a winners grind
Stay alert, never let your head rest, cuz when a sinners mind
Intertwines with the lines as senseless as when he rhymes
Get as cruel and ruthless as a machete slaughter from a killers bind
A ruthless and deadly martyr with an agenda filled with pride
But still he fights against it all knowing that he will survive
While others sit and cry, he just stares death right in her eyes
Pull her from her hair and smack her up, make sure you hit her right
He's just tryna let you know for you own good how you should live your life
He ain't tryna hear a quitters sigh, grow a pair bitch, life's neither quit or die
PAINKILLƎR
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Re: Machetes in London

Postby Just Silver » Feb 8th, '14, 13:51

Pretty decent stuff guy a shit load of rhymes
Didn't really reel me in though imagery wasn't bad

Just felt the length was the problem otherwise looked like good practice

Keep writing guy I've been slacking as well :/
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Re: Machetes in London

Postby CanadaPure » Feb 9th, '14, 02:48

Really nice rhyming throughout the whole thing, I like how you kept one idea going without forcing anything.
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Re: Machetes in London

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Feb 10th, '14, 23:31

thanks for the words fam, 'preciate it.
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Re: Machetes in London

Postby Eedee » Feb 11th, '14, 12:08

Whew, that shit was fire, brother.
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mdemaz wrote:dam
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Re: Machetes in London

Postby PAINKILLƎR » Mar 4th, '14, 02:39

thanks breh
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