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Mother

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Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 16th, '14, 18:33

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Desert skin, I'm seeing wrinkles in her feathered grin,
Sentiments aside, I'm viewing sinkholes within sediment,
Letting leather tint her masqueraded flesh,
Hidden stretch marks, scars, and dilapidated breasts,
Scatterbrain cancer made a mess,
Caught her waiting on it like a Richard Allen Davis death,
With a palpitating chest and a bitter pose,
Sitting frigid similar to in the midst of winter snow,
We tried to kill it slow although it didn't go,
Leaving her a brittle dome shown with the skin exposed,
Intervals of painful intermittent flows,
Her unwritten woes reminiscent of the Middle Stone,
With a little home in an ominous person,
Behind a wall of uncertainty and a hospital curtain,
(St. Michael's) For the knife she would bottle the burden,
It was either God or a surgeon, that saved my...

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Re: Mother

Postby shadyblogger » Jul 16th, '14, 20:04

Nice structure, rhyming, details, and imagery breh. Really enjoyable.
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Re: Mother

Postby Just Silver » Jul 16th, '14, 21:40

Pretty decent rhyming although seems more like a poem than rap with the type of vocab used

Is this a true story?

Didn't care for the open ending but otherwise a nice short piece filled with vocab up the ass and a decent flow
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Re: Mother

Postby Devil'sAdvocate » Jul 16th, '14, 22:26

amazing.
The devil ain't on a level same as him!
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Re: Mother

Postby Flamez » Jul 17th, '14, 04:48

Nice vocab I liked this man.
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Re: Mother

Postby mdemaz » Jul 17th, '14, 05:18

my man
ImageImageImage
s/o to Eedee Python CP Horse Snake Pain SaJn Silver Cement Excitaz PK Rolly GW EG Charlotte Kasia Mel Wiz Solace TRex SliK Aone Atone Trimss Menzo Geno Fish Jaba Detroit Blogs Based lil_b IBR DA! Mono ROM NRG Bigray Hesky Francesco Yoda Noddy Raul
Just Silver wrote:I think every guy should massage their prostate at least once

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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 17th, '14, 05:20

Thanks guys, damn has CW feed become absolutely awful though Image

@Silver, yeah, it's a little piece detailing of my mother's cancer
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Re: Mother

Postby CrashBand » Jul 17th, '14, 06:14

she gon b alright?
I'm not tryin to be rude, but I sincerely wanna fuck the taste out of your mouth
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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 17th, '14, 06:37

Yeah
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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 17th, '14, 17:38

Thanks Horse, appreciate that. Not the first cancer she's survived either. :y:
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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 17th, '14, 23:42

Thank you Menzoooo
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Re: Mother

Postby CrashBand » Jul 18th, '14, 01:06

tbh, it's a bit too sadistiky for my tastes

(i am being serious btw)

Behind a wall of uncertainty and a hospital curtain

p dope line tho
I'm not tryin to be rude, but I sincerely wanna fuck the taste out of your mouth
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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 18th, '14, 01:39

Good thing I don't write for your tastes :giggle:

Thanks
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Re: Mother

Postby EvryOnesACrtc » Jul 18th, '14, 10:55

Professional rhyming delivered seamlessly in a constantly-progressing story rap. It was a little too on the poetic side for me, but I still gotta give props. Nice to see a drop from a, what I consider, vet. You've been here longer than me, and I hope you stick around posting more material that is on par with this :y:
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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 18th, '14, 19:36

bigray wrote:Nice piece Solace, I enjoyed the read.

Like Menzo said, your mother is a best bro!!!

Thanks Ray, :wub:

EvryOnesACrtc wrote:Professional rhyming delivered seamlessly in a constantly-progressing story rap. It was a little too on the poetic side for me, but I still gotta give props. Nice to see a drop from a, what I consider, vet. You've been here longer than me, and I hope you stick around posting more material that is on par with this :y:

Thanks m8. This is an unfinished scrap, so if I ever get to finishing this I'll definitely post it up. :y:
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