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Mother

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Re: Mother

Postby EvryOnesACrtc » Jul 18th, '14, 10:55

Professional rhyming delivered seamlessly in a constantly-progressing story rap. It was a little too on the poetic side for me, but I still gotta give props. Nice to see a drop from a, what I consider, vet. You've been here longer than me, and I hope you stick around posting more material that is on par with this :y:
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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 18th, '14, 19:36

bigray wrote:Nice piece Solace, I enjoyed the read.

Like Menzo said, your mother is a best bro!!!

Thanks Ray, :wub:

EvryOnesACrtc wrote:Professional rhyming delivered seamlessly in a constantly-progressing story rap. It was a little too on the poetic side for me, but I still gotta give props. Nice to see a drop from a, what I consider, vet. You've been here longer than me, and I hope you stick around posting more material that is on par with this :y:

Thanks m8. This is an unfinished scrap, so if I ever get to finishing this I'll definitely post it up. :y:
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Re: Mother

Postby CrashBand » Jul 22nd, '14, 12:34

Would u ever write normal conversational type shit?

would like 2 hear it from u.

all g if not tho.
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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 25th, '14, 19:15

Sure if I'm in the mood for that

Being verbose is just so much easier
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Re: Mother

Postby Mr.DGAF » Jul 26th, '14, 22:44

very nice, I dug this a lot. very visual in style. the wall of uncertainty line was very nicely done, always like stuff like that; that kinda metaphoric phrasing or reasoning followed with a real observation. the topic obviously is very personal but you did a good job of, to me at least, giving us the facts and kinda taking us out of the situation as well. IDK if that makes sense, but the references to other shit always kept me from getting completely attached, in a good way haha.
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Re: Mother

Postby Trimss » Jul 26th, '14, 22:51

Solace wrote:Hidden stretch marks, scars, and dilapidated breasts,
Scatterbrain cancer made a mess,


The lines I quoted are my favorites because they're not easy to read, yet it's the truth for people affected by cancer. Your vocabulary and the way you chose words are great, and it honestly helps the imagery a lot. As always, your rhyming is on point too and everything flows together really well. Honestly, it moved me. I would love to hear it recorded but I don't know if it's in your plans or not.

Amazing man, and I hope your mom won't have to face anything like that again.
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Re: Mother

Postby Solace » Jul 26th, '14, 22:58

Mr.DGAF wrote:very nice, I dug this a lot. very visual in style. the wall of uncertainty line was very nicely done, always like stuff like that; that kinda metaphoric phrasing or reasoning followed with a real observation. the topic obviously is very personal but you did a good job of, to me at least, giving us the facts and kinda taking us out of the situation as well. IDK if that makes sense, but the references to other shit always kept me from getting completely attached, in a good way haha.

I 100% know what you mean, description and rhetoric took precedence over emotion at times and that's something I'd most definitely revise if/when I continue this. I think it came out of me avoiding "I" statements most of the time so that I focus on the situation rather than myself, because I felt that would be kind of selfish in writing about my mother. I also really enjoy random references. Thanks for taking time and reading it.

Trimss wrote:
Solace wrote:Hidden stretch marks, scars, and dilapidated breasts,
Scatterbrain cancer made a mess,


The lines I quoted are my favorites because they're not easy to read, yet it's the truth for people affected by cancer. Your vocabulary and the way you chose words are great, and it honestly helps the imagery a lot. As always, your rhyming is on point too and everything flows together really well. Honestly, it moved me. I would love to hear it recorded but I don't know if it's in your plans or not.

Amazing man, and I hope your mom won't have to face anything like that again.

Lots of nice words here :wub: I'd love to hear it recorded too, but only when I feel like it maps everything about the situation that I want it to and right now it's just not quite there yet. Appreciate it Trimss.
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