EvryOnesACrtc wrote:Very dope stuff. I can't wait to hear it recorded. Should be good. This was really deep, and I haven't heard this subject get touched on before, so props. My favorite line would have to be the 'small world but always in my head (I'm paraphrasing, of course)' one.
Eedee wrote:So much whew.
Really liked all the space references. I actually had the "mound of dirt" scheme jotted on in my phone recently haha. Siiiick.
Sam. wrote:That was a very impressive piece of work. The thought was good, understandable. I can relate to some of the thing that you said, so Kudos for that. Come to think of it, you've been writing for a quite a while now, so I kinda expect more that this. I mean, the Verses are dope, no doubt there. But, the overall phrasing could have been a little more complex. You know that there's always different ways of saying the same thing, right? "Tomato-Tamale"
You: I went up and down and I became seasick of it.
Re-Phrasing what you said: Through all the Ups and Down till I was seasick.
Not a great shining example, but you'll get my point.
There’s a danger in living your dreams
Cause real life will pass you by even when you’re asleep
The end result is all the same, just a mound of dirt
How you earn your living while living it will amount to worth
There’s something in, the air tonight
Users browsing this forum: No registered users