The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Ode to Big Pun

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Ode to Big Pun

Postby Atone » Sep 11th, '14, 22:15

was listening to Big Pun in the car today and, felt like writing something inspired by him, dude was a beast

Link Of Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=173780&p=2781696#p2781696

(Verse 1)
Beware, i gave ya fair warnin, i'm comin with heat
got people runnin thru streets sreamin as i'm hummin on beats
i'm becoming a beast, sounds of thunder drummin to rumble your seats
get to sendin hundreds of tweets, tell em Atone's a Gunman
he summoned Big Pun and he's huntin the weak
so get to jumpin and pumpin ya cleat's
cuz i'm stuntin, you can't stomach cuz i'm comin with somethin so sweet
you can lable me an M.V.P
i'm the V.I.P when it comes to bein a sick emcee
can't stop me when i drop these hot sixteens
i got sick dreams, came to make the streets talk
say my name like i hit the sweet spot
as soon as the beat drops, i got you in deep shock
like "oh my god, Atone got that heat locked"
and homie I warned you, now all people can do is mourn you
I'm born with this skill to kill, yo I put it on you


(Hook)
I gave you fair warning, beware...beware...beware... [2x]

(Verse 2)
Fuck a magazine i'm a rappin fiend ready to attack the scene
don't need internet blogs to help my passion gleam
i'm after dreams to make my tracks crack the seam
these other emcee's rap with schemes and lack the preen
to back their themes that their tracks will scream
So walk with me as i talk with glee and rock with Ease
i get to poppin so watch me drop with steese
can't stop my breeze, you get dropped to your knees
just give up, cop a plea, i'm pure milk, the rest of you is cottage cheese
i can't help the way i flow it's like i got a disease
to spit hotter sixteens than alot of supremes
It's Open season when i 'm on the mic like i wrote a thesis
so take notes as i spit dope cohesive hopeful meanings
and you can quote my peices to haters who hope i'm leavin
but nope, i'm breathin, and my lyrical attacks are a stroke of genius

(Hook)

(Verse 3)
yeah the kid is back so just give me the mic, i don't need hype, i got skill
i will just kill and get ill and spill
somethin real when i spit to hit ya
i get ya spinnin when i rip thru
like a hurricane storm, ah, i warned ya
you get torn up, i'm just doin what i was born to
So for me this is normal, i was sworn to just swarm ya
when i spit it visious so listen and invision
when i'm kickin these visuals like a ritual
to hit ya with somethin to make ya condition critical
my missions habitual, your becoming the reciprical
of somethin original with syllabuls to fit the mold
just call me a criminal the way i slip thru holes
and steal the show, just here me go, as i kick it like a dojo
so for those that don't know, i'm no ordianary joe shmo
the names Atone, and i just let the flow go
Image
User avatar
Atone
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4855
Joined: Jun 1st, '10, 08:47
Gender: Male

Re: Ode to Big Pun

Postby shadyphantom91 » Sep 11th, '14, 22:50

:y: This is good bro. I especially like the first verse and how you keep the same rhyme scheme; example: heat, streets, tweets. My favorite line is the say my name like I hit the sweet spot.
[b]I float like B.I.G.'s spirit in this bitch I'm ghostly
Rush me, cause you aint gonna live to roast me/b]
User avatar
shadyphantom91
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 180
Joined: Jul 8th, '14, 05:37
Location: The Bahamas
Gender: Male

Re: Ode to Big Pun

Postby Eedee » Sep 13th, '14, 04:29

This was noticeably better than your usual stuff. Especially with the rhyme schemes. They were consistent as hell.

:y:
Image
mdemaz wrote:dam
User avatar
Eedee
Eye-Raping-Fudgepop
Eye-Raping-Fudgepop
 
Posts: 11719
Joined: Aug 7th, '11, 06:11
Location: Free food
Gender: Male

Re: Ode to Big Pun

Postby Atone » Sep 13th, '14, 16:08

Eedee wrote:This was noticeably better than your usual stuff. Especially with the rhyme schemes. They were consistent as hell.

:y:


I had a 4th verse written as well, i'm workin on Takeover 2, so i was gonna use this piecce, and the 4tf verse i wrote, for a remake of "Forever" by Drake/Wayne/Kanye and Em, but, didn't save the 4tf verse and last night my computer shut itself down, sooo, guess i won't be doin that
Image
User avatar
Atone
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4855
Joined: Jun 1st, '10, 08:47
Gender: Male

Re: Ode to Big Pun

Postby Just Silver » Sep 26th, '14, 19:29

This flowed very well one of my favorite pieces from u 2nd verse flowed the best for me

Just try to be more on topic I have thIs problem as well
Image
User avatar
Just Silver
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7791
Joined: Jun 27th, '09, 03:40
Location: East Coast
Gender: Male

Re: Ode to Big Pun

Postby TranSlucEnt » Sep 29th, '14, 09:10

Fuck, that 2nd verse's rhyme scheme is off the fucking wall.

Props dude. I was bobbin' my head to this.
"Soon as my flow starts, I compose art like the ghost of Mozart"

"All that fire in your eyes shows pain, but the flame ain't blue enough"

ImageImage
User avatar
TranSlucEnt
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1122
Joined: Sep 29th, '13, 08:19
Location: Minnesota
Gender: Male

Re: Ode to Big Pun

Postby Music_box » Sep 29th, '14, 19:07

TranSlucEnt wrote:Props dude. I was bobbin' my head to this.
#ProtectSSLP
Music_box
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 406
Joined: Feb 4th, '14, 16:58

Re: Ode to Big Pun

Postby Ka0t1c » Oct 3rd, '14, 10:47

good rhymin, great scheme in the first lines
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
User avatar
Ka0t1c
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3919
Joined: Nov 16th, '05, 08:28
Location: Hell, Room #5150
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider]

cron