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battle cry..

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battle cry..

Postby Halftongue Dre » Sep 25th, '14, 00:07

feedback: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=172600&start=15Feedback:


honest about what I know
its a constant struggle going back n forth
and its not a joke
getting thrown to a pack of wolves
having to stand alone
after yelling wolf
so many times that they doubt your words
become the laughing stock
of the show
out this world
down to earth
stomping the ground
as I crash n burn
turned to ashs in a stack of dirt
the empire I've built on half a wit
being that disturbed
numb to the cold wind blow
standing firm with my back turned
shown no love when I show it first..
Last edited by Halftongue Dre on Sep 25th, '14, 00:26, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: battle cry..

Postby shadyblogger » Sep 25th, '14, 00:11

Interesting...

I liked how it was short and the rhymes and structure was neat. Keep it up.
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Re: battle cry..

Postby Halftongue Dre » Sep 25th, '14, 00:25

thanks Gooch. word..
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Re: battle cry..

Postby Just Silver » Sep 28th, '14, 02:48

Sorta poetic but in rap terms it feel pretty short

Sorry guy you mostly need to work on rhyming I do as well
You do have a unique technique of writing just make it work as best you can
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Re: battle cry..

Postby Halftongue Dre » Oct 3rd, '14, 00:14

Just Silver wrote:Sorta poetic but in rap terms it feel pretty short

Sorry guy you mostly need to work on rhyming I do as well
You do have a unique technique of writing just make it work as best you can


Thanks Silver. Kinda sucks cause I promised God I wouldn't write no more and I'm convicted to keep that promise. On top of that I have writers block from the meds they got me on. If I never made that promise and I was in a normal state of mind I could write so much better. O well I guess..
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