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Downfall

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Downfall

Postby runSA » Sep 29th, '14, 03:27

**** This was written on October 12th 2013 also known to me as my downfall. I was really fucked up when I wrote this and I do write better now****






Party getting cracking
Where am I girls be asking
Sorry don't want cause a racket
What is that? Cops coming they be knocking
Fuck! I ain't got but to go
Duck!
Under the fence shit im Stuck!
Cops can't see me all fucked up
What is this my town hates me, Rob you set me up
Why did you have to blow this up
I told you keep it quiet cus I didn't want a riot
In my backyard like we all fighters going at it
We just all suburban kids with the weed and the lighter
And some liqour mixed in with beers to make us feel brighter
Maybe pour the vodka into some apple cider
But no I might get arrested ill get you back im a fighter

****Lesson-Lesson-dont write raps when drunk and angry**** Better writing will come from me next week
"This world is mine for the taking, make me king as we move toward a new world order"
-Eminem
RIP TR 2005-2014
We live on at http://www.hiphopshelter.com
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Re: Downfall

Postby DetroitSkills » Sep 29th, '14, 08:39

link of feed brotha its dumb but ohwell u needa do it
MMLP2 11.5.13
#teamEncore #teamEllenPage
"Enough rhymes to maybe try to help get some people through tough times
But I gotta keep a few punchlines just in case cause even you unsigned
Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunch time"
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Re: Downfall

Postby Just Silver » Oct 3rd, '14, 17:11

Rhymes were barely there and flow was washy
Only thing I can really say is practice a lot more often

Maybe try and build your vocab
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Re: Downfall

Postby runSA » Oct 11th, '14, 01:35

Just Silver wrote:Rhymes were barely there and flow was washy
Only thing I can really say is practice a lot more often

Maybe try and build your vocab

it was old and I was kind of drunk/pissed while I made it. Im only just starting to write again and so far its looking beter
"This world is mine for the taking, make me king as we move toward a new world order"
-Eminem
RIP TR 2005-2014
We live on at http://www.hiphopshelter.com
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Re: Downfall

Postby shadyblogger » Oct 11th, '14, 07:03

Ehh. I liked the last few lines and the rest was meh. Like you even said you were drunk when you wrote this so...
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