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40 Bars From The Heart

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40 Bars From The Heart

Postby Open » Oct 14th, '14, 04:25

Link to feedback: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=174200

40 Bars From The Heart

Your smile is so infectious and I love to be the cause of it
You captured and recorded it on snapchat, I'm adoring it
There is no ignoring this, you make me want to grab your face,
And kiss your lips, just have a taste. Towards you, girl, I gravitate
I see the goodness in your eyes, there ain't no devil in disguise
You're truly genuine, you fly... like an angel in the sky
I want to hold you close to me, eat the bread you toast for me
I feel like you're supposed to be, the one who finds a hope in me
And one day, maybe, hopefully; we'll look back and laugh at this
Joke about the past and how an app like Tinder started this
For now, I'll put my heart in it; convince you I'm the one you need
Baby, I just long to be, the one to kiss you on the knee
I know you want to bite my lip, embrace the urge, stop fighting it
On top, just grab me by the wrists, you'll find that I'm alright with this
I swear I'll be enlightened if you kiss me while you grind your hips
Girl, we're crazy similar, I never thought I'd find a winner
But I've found the one I want to cuddle when the lights get dimmer
Hold you through the night in winter, eat by candlelight at dinner
Watch the tele, fight with pillows, kiss your lips and bite your earlobe
Girl, I swear your eyes are killer; I wanna walk in the park with you
Hold hands and talk in the dark with you, there's nothing that I would rather do
'Cause we can talk for hours; only stop to have a shower,
And if I was Scott Pilgrim, you would be Ramona Flowers
Yeah, girl, you're just so different, and I've made it my own mission
To pin you into submission, feel you grinning whilst we're kissing
Babe, I know it's hard to let me in; it's difficult, especially when,
You're used to those who put you down, but there is just no questioning
That I will always be around, girl, 'cause I believe in you
There just ain't no limit to the things that I can see you doing
I can tell you're something different, deep in you, I see it brewing
That is why I need to tell you this, so you can see it too
I'm here for you to have around, when you're feeling sad and down
You know that you can talk to me, I'll make you laugh, and act the clown
Or, baby, I can sympathise? Wrap your arms right into mine
All the stars up in the sky, they shine for you, like Christmas lights
No matter if I'm in or out, you're the one I think about
You just leave me in a daze; you make my head just spin around
You and I, it's clear to see; that there just ain't no better team
I promise that you're prettier than anything I've ever seen
So, baby, if I'm sleeping right now, please could you just let me dream?
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Re: 40 Bars From The Heart

Postby Littliepuppys713 » Oct 20th, '14, 01:39

dreams do come true and their not all just stupid dreams.
very nice Lucky Gal
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Re: 40 Bars From The Heart

Postby Littliepuppys713 » Oct 20th, '14, 01:43

Fun Find :y: :whistle:
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Re: 40 Bars From The Heart

Postby shadyblogger » Oct 20th, '14, 01:56

Dope piece brah! You really pulled off having a long piece filled with long lines. Your rhyming was really fluid as was your flow and felt very unique. Your lyricism was dope as well. Great style bro. Keep it up!
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Re: 40 Bars From The Heart

Postby shadyphantom91 » Nov 5th, '14, 17:32

Wow I cant believe I haven't seen this. This is pretty dope I like how keep up consistent rhyme schemes along with the internal rhymes and it is filled with many great lines. My favorite has to be the: "I want to hold you close to me,eat the bread you toast for me, I feel like your supposed to be, the one who finds a hope in me."
[b]I float like B.I.G.'s spirit in this bitch I'm ghostly
Rush me, cause you aint gonna live to roast me/b]
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Re: 40 Bars From The Heart

Postby SarkingMajor » Nov 10th, '14, 19:59

Damn! This is dopeeee
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Eminem wrote:Sarking Major is 11/10 signing him to Shady records in 2015


True Wiz wrote:Damn, SarkingMajor can out rap half of you TR rappers :whew:

I'd work on your delivery a little though. Your flow was amazing in some parts man :y:

You could be the new Luna C in a few years


MattyB is GOAT anybody who says otherwise is just a dumb hater
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Re: 40 Bars From The Heart

Postby Just Silver » Nov 10th, '14, 20:24

Good shit a little too sappy for me though

I've never gotten into writing about love I don't know why it just sounds awkward to me
Otherwise there was really good natural rhyming going on

Keep it up

Just don't be a drake lol
It's sorta cool though since I met my gf through an app
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