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Postby Dewey Decimal » Nov 13th, '14, 21:35

Some shit i wrote while i had a concussion ... makes it hard to think

i fuck skinny bitches, all they eat is yogurt
dick 20 inches, all length & No Girth
High school dropout still doing all his homework
60 miles an hour and i still aint getting any closer
Got shooters with lugers & 8s, im soon to be late
s'like the oldest man in the world tryina find a cougar to date
Nigga this is just a Robbery Charge
Dont make it into an assault causing Bodily Harm
Dick is small but the Condom is Large
My clone is making fun of me
My clone is making fun of me
Nigga there is only room enough for 1 of me
Drinking Grey Goose By The Litre
Unplug the dre beats, and play me on the Speaker
Im cocky and im arrogant
I could be an albino, you still pale in comparison
Hitler is the movement, Swaztikaz on my Tunic
But when it comes to the Jewels bitch
This nazi is really acting Jewish


I'll go harder next time
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Re: Yo

Postby Just Silver » Nov 14th, '14, 02:15

I liked this for what it was just a quick piece

The clone line shouldn't have been added twice but I know that was the point lol

I liked the dick line with no girth lol I got a chuckle
Overall this is what I need to do again shorter pieces with comic imagery

Raps don't always have to have a huge meaning
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Re: Yo

Postby Atone » Nov 14th, '14, 11:15

it's a bit weird but, it's not my style of writing so, everything that's sexual is weird to me i guess, idk, i don't take that route alot.


that clone double line was cool, i got it, very clever with that, you had some good bars in this, good rhymes and structure, for this being written while cuncussed, thats pretty dope, i've had alot of concussions and was never able to write, you did a great job here
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