peom/rap/call it whatever you want/a peice of writing

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

when a look in your eye's, a feel like life is fine,
when you look into mine, its like its for the last time,
a look onto the future, you look onto the past
a tell you its gonni last, but you say its gonni pass,
a look at life in a different weiw, like if everything else is gone,
will a still have me and u ,
will we last that long , is our love that strong , or am i wrong,
i know its been a struggle and a fight ,but at the end will everything be al'ight,
a cant tell you how much i feel , i dunno how to prove my love is real,
i love you like a love ma famalie , its just as strong , maybey am wrong ,
a got to ask one thing , what you did have for me ? is it gone...

feedback appreciated...

edited :- added new verse

a need to know the answer so a can move on ,
yes or no is the difference between me staying or goin,
you like you do , then you dont , like seeing green but doin red,
you fucking with my mind so much i think went brain dead,
living this dream but its like a nightmare , like the love is here but it aint there,
ill return to the point of subject wicth is you, the women i love, the one that is true,
when i see you i can barely look, coz i know that your took ,
i feel like i just got hit with the right hook, now look ,
wee sort this now on the one spot , no my love is not gonni rot ,
now let me take you by the hand, show you im a still a man and tell you how i feel remeber ,everything here is real,

[stevethetruth]

dude nice rap i like it

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

BUMP!

feedback on new verse

[stevethetruth]

nice man even better dude
r u gonna make a song out of it???

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

nice man even better dude
r u gonna make a song out of it???

maybe am gonni try for a third verse again i didnt right this to a beat sah we'll see if i could get a hold of someone with mixing skills they could help me btu we'll see thx for the comments

[stevethetruth]

nice man even better dude
r u gonna make a song out of it???

maybe am gonni try for a third verse again i didnt right this to a beat sah we'll see if i could get a hold of someone with mixing skills they could help me btu we'll see thx for the comments

no prob man
glad to see your writing .......i've gotten wicked lazy all of the sudden lol

[Rae]

that was great ... i can kinda relate ... (but only from a diff. point of view lol) but yeah ... it was great man

[Coccoa]

Where the bitches at?