spreadin ma name (unfinished)

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

_________________________________________________________________________

chorus

im spreading ma name to get to the top of the game
to get to the top of the game thats what im daein
we all rappers we help each other out
big up , maybe , killa, truth, asp, coccoa, katastrophe , thommas , am given everybody a shout (reapeat)

Verse 1
ive been spreadin ma name like it a forest flame,
a forest flame, un-tame, how am describen ma name,
a play with you life likes its a game,
brainly mad , lyrically insane,
brainly insane , lryically mad ,
shit what is it, fire just bust from ma pad,
ok clip clip , clack clack, imma gangsta move back,
run up on you with a gun, i kill you just for fun,
i dont give a shit bout that man thats not what i want
a scared dog may fear you, but itll bite once it see's the rear view,
keep this in mind as we roll this space of time,
dont control with fear but earn respect,
if ya dont get a fucking brain check,
respect over fear, yer life over a cut neck,
punch in the face over a whole body check,
bar everybody im earning my recpect,

edit:-

Verse 2

im back again, strike as loud as big ben,
i can make it, coz the sword got beat by then pen,
and when is this gonni subside this side to me
the one witch ya'll dont really see,
the side oh me thatll kill a cat free,
like am twisted and evil , freddy crouger,
compared to me he as lethel as a cup of tea,
ma rythms are so simple and fun,big ass bun,
but ma flow is untold, untached, cant be matched,
ill pull the tie throw the grenade , you catch,
yer body end up lying detachted,
im getting of line with my point of veiw
my point of veiw is my names bigger than you
the biggest 3 letter name in the world,
my names hot , its fire getting hurled,
bar-none taking over tha girls,

________________________________________________________________________

just whant some feed till i go and start on verse numero 2

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

edited added verse 2 :d

LEAVE FEED!!!!!!!

[sephiroth112787]

_________________________________________________________________________

chorus

im spreading ma name to get to the top of the game
to get to the top of the game thats what im daein
we all rappers we help each other out
big up , maybe , killa, truth, asp, coccoa, katastrophe , thommas , am given everybody a shout (reapeat)

Verse 1
ive been spreadin ma name like it a forest flame,
a forest flame, un-tame, how am describen ma name,
a play with you life likes its a game,
brainly mad , lyrically insane,
brainly insane , lryically mad ,
shit what is it, fire just bust from ma pad,
ok clip clip , clack clack, imma gangsta move back,
run up on you with a gun, i kill you just for fun,
i dont give a shit bout that man thats not what i want
a scared dog may fear you, but itll bite once it see's the rear view,
keep this in mind as we roll this space of time,
dont control with fear but earn respect,
if ya dont get a fucking brain check,
respect over fear, yer life over a cut neck,
punch in the face over a whole body check,
bar everybody im earning my recpect,

edit:-

Verse 2

im back again, strike as loud as big ben,
i can make it, coz the sword got beat by then pen,
and when is this gonni subside this side to me
the one witch ya'll dont really see,
the side oh me thatll kill a cat free,
like am twisted and evil , freddy crouger,
compared to me he as lethel as a cup of tea,
ma rythms are so simple and fun,big ass bun,
but ma flow is untold, untached, cant be matched,
ill pull the tie throw the grenade , you catch,
yer body end up lying detachted,
im getting of line with my point of veiw
my point of veiw is my names bigger than you
the biggest 3 letter name in the world,
my names hot , its fire getting hurled,
bar-none taking over tha girls,

________________________________________________________________________

just whant some feed till i go and start on verse numero 2

your rymes are ok but it lacks a certain originality in subject matter the cup of tea punch was aight but overall i think you need to review your style remember to check the rymes... this dont look like no free style so reread and make sure your syllables have some structure... im sure it would sound better when its said if changed a few words but since its a post just make sure u read it a few times and come up with somethin different
as for the first line thats not the chorus is kinda weak all in all try to be a bit more creative

[PmT-Faith]

Im just tryna think how the chorus Would flow lol, Sorta weak lines if you ask me, You sound like youv'e just been introduced to the rap game, Iv'e been rapping for almost a year now, maybe 8-9 months and ive improved so much over time, How long you been rappin for ? if you started say like 2-3 months ago what ur rappin about now is just about right lol, This isnt a giant put down, Im just sayin it how i read, maybe this will inspire you to work a little bit harder, Take this as some sort of advice, Overall I like ur will to rap, pce man

PS: anyone wanna hear some of my older stuff if they dun have it it can be heard here http://www.soundclick.com/pocketsemptyfaith

Pce

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

_________________________________________________________________________

chorus

im spreading ma name to get to the top of the game
to get to the top of the game thats what im daein
we all rappers we help each other out
big up , maybe , killa, truth, asp, coccoa, katastrophe , thommas , am given everybody a shout (reapeat)

Verse 1
ive been spreadin ma name like it a forest flame,
a forest flame, un-tame, how am describen ma name,
a play with you life likes its a game,
brainly mad , lyrically insane,
brainly insane , lryically mad ,
shit what is it, fire just bust from ma pad,
ok clip clip , clack clack, imma gangsta move back,
run up on you with a gun, i kill you just for fun,
i dont give a shit bout that man thats not what i want
a scared dog may fear you, but itll bite once it see's the rear view,
keep this in mind as we roll this space of time,
dont control with fear but earn respect,
if ya dont get a fucking brain check,
respect over fear, yer life over a cut neck,
punch in the face over a whole body check,
bar everybody im earning my recpect,

edit:-

Verse 2

im back again, strike as loud as big ben,
i can make it, coz the sword got beat by then pen,
and when is this gonni subside this side to me
the one witch ya'll dont really see,
the side oh me thatll kill a cat free,
like am twisted and evil , freddy crouger,
compared to me he as lethel as a cup of tea,
ma rythms are so simple and fun,big ass bun,
but ma flow is untold, untached, cant be matched,
ill pull the tie throw the grenade , you catch,
yer body end up lying detachted,
im getting of line with my point of veiw
my point of veiw is my names bigger than you
the biggest 3 letter name in the world,
my names hot , its fire getting hurled,
bar-none taking over tha girls,

________________________________________________________________________

just whant some feed till i go and start on verse numero 2

your rymes are ok but it lacks a certain originality in subject matter the cup of tea punch was aight but overall i think you need to review your style remember to check the rymes... this dont look like no free style so reread and make sure your syllables have some structure... im sure it would sound better when its said if changed a few words but since its a post just make sure u read it a few times and come up with somethin different
as for the first line thats not the chorus is kinda weak all in all try to be a bit more creative

thanx man appreciate the feedback

nah it wasnt freestyled the song isnt made out to be strong , i agree with all your points aswell thank you

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

Im just tryna think how the chorus Would flow lol, Sorta weak lines if you ask me, You sound like youv'e just been introduced to the rap game, Iv'e been rapping for almost a year now, maybe 8-9 months and ive improved so much over time, How long you been rappin for ? if you started say like 2-3 months ago what ur rappin about now is just about right lol, This isnt a giant put down, Im just sayin it how i read, maybe this will inspire you to work a little bit harder, Take this as some sort of advice, Overall I like ur will to rap, pce man

PS: anyone wanna hear some of my older stuff if they dun have it it can be heard here http://www.soundclick.com/pocketsemptyfaith

Pce

hmm ok ehm......yeh i aint been rapping long BUT check out my other stuff coz i know this aint great and shit but i got better stuff just this is the first stuff youve commented on and its not one of my greateast things and please dont question my rate of work coz i can tell you no one has put as much and improved as much as me in the past 2 month no one has and im not being big headed but if you read my first stuff youd know what i mean

[PmT-Faith]

No hard feelings, and im glad to hear youve improved, its actually a good feeling, when you gradually feel the improvment eh, I was just askin some questions, so overall dont feel offended lol, and like i said I like ur will to rap, just as much as everyone elses here, keep doin what yu do

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

No hard feelings, and im glad to hear youve improved, its actually a good feeling, when you gradually feel the improvment eh, I was just askin some questions, so overall dont feel offended lol, and like i said I like ur will to rap, just as much as everyone elses here, keep doin what yu do

kool btw you scottish and imma keep improving only 15 so... lol

[PmT-Faith]

lol naw im White/Irish well only 25 % irish .....Born and raised In steel city canada :P

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

lol naw im White/Irish well only 25 % irish .....Born and raised In steel city canada :P

just wondering coz it says hamilton is your location