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practice ( FEEDBACK!!!!!)

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practice ( FEEDBACK!!!!!)

Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 26th, '06, 20:31

im the waterfall ,but a flow like a river,
kidney shot but knocked out yer liver,
then a hit yeh with the left ,follow up with the right,
knocked yeh so high , you flying like a kite,
when a rap my mic snarls back at me,
its shouting come on try attack me,
the mic is my enemy , the stage is the ring ,
when a go there im pronounced the flow king,
hit back, with the sik track, how i attack,
move aside of ma ride, shifted has the tide,
rip you apart, hit with the sting of a dart,
music aint a noise, its a street made art,
dont come from the mouth , comes from the heart,


just keeping myself fresh lol some practice, leave feed please
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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 26th, '06, 22:14

bump :shifty:
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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 26th, '06, 22:55

Clarky wrote:Not bad I like what you were tryna' do there man. Keep it up.


lol i like the effect of personification for some reason

for dumb people

"when a rap my mic snarls back at me"

thats personification ( i think )

giving a in-animated object human like features

idk why i think its kool using it lol

anywae thx man :D
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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 26th, '06, 23:33

Clarky wrote:Lmao.

I should know, but I have no idea what personification is lol.


lol i like to search of little effects like that basically just search the net like your revising for a english class and itll give you kool little features to add to your rythms lol
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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 27th, '06, 00:01

Sarah wrote:That's good :D keep it up, you'll even improve more ;)





Btw, you people won't believe me :laughing: but I know what personification is :toocool: I acutally did learn something in school for once lol....we learnt that when we was writing poems :happy:


:confusion: :confusion: :confusion: :confusion:

sarah is smart :confusion:

it cant be true * slaps himself* NOOOOOO!!! we are all doomed :'(

lol thx :D
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Postby Inches » Sep 27th, '06, 01:17

mannn
soundin good
keep it up
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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 27th, '06, 01:19

inches2010 wrote:mannn
soundin good
keep it up


thx man :worship:
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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 27th, '06, 02:15

Sarah wrote:
Bar wrote:
Sarah wrote:That's good :D keep it up, you'll even improve more ;)





Btw, you people won't believe me :laughing: but I know what personification is :toocool: I acutally did learn something in school for once lol....we learnt that when we was writing poems :happy:


:confusion: :confusion: :confusion: :confusion:

sarah is smart :confusion:

it cant be true * slaps himself* NOOOOOO!!! we are all doomed :'(

lol thx :D

:laughing:



Yes I can be smart at times :8)


sarah are you blonde ? :whistle: :shifty: :whistle:
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Postby Inches » Sep 27th, '06, 02:40

Bar wrote:
inches2010 wrote:mannn
soundin good
keep it up


thx man :worship:


np
pretty sic shit

:flower:
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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 27th, '06, 21:44

bump

i need feed on this for a reason :'(
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Postby ThomasAguanis » Sep 27th, '06, 21:48

nice man
using the personification and metaphors was pretty cool.
it's awsome how you're trying everything and improving at it too.
keep it up man :8)
B.K.A. The King of Kale A.K.A. The Superfood Sensai
I still rap better than you.

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Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 27th, '06, 22:04

ThomasAguanis wrote:nice man
using the personification and metaphors was pretty cool.
it's awsome how you're trying everything and improving at it too.
keep it up man :8)


thx man :D imma keep practicing at all these things i got alot more imma try use aswell :happy: , im sorta lucky that im good at english eh ? lol
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