My fear

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

i been on a writing frenzy past 2 days heres one i wrote last night "my fear"

yall need to leave feeback though , think you all forgot how to post

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My Fear

What if my plans don't work , after puting ni so much work ,
it'll be like my heart got burst by a fork,
no-one beileives me when i tell them my plans,
like dam thats to far-fetched, sound like a movie sketch,
if thats what it is , then im the director, and i'll direct-yah,
to my point of view, i'll not be stopped by you,
you keeping me caged like a zoo,
the fear of it falling apart, i want it to glide like a dart,
its a must for me not to go bust,
i curse at everybody who dont beileive me, just leave me , let me be ,
its my dream homie i'm goin over seas, to see the chances there be,
plan to work with MC-Maybe,
right now im busting my ass for very little cash, that imma stash,
save it up in a bank not cup,twelse hour shifts at fif-teen,
thats how much this dream-means,
they think im giong back into education,
im alreadys streetwise , my flow got anticipation,
re-creating real music, with meaning and thought,
can't be caught,
once i got enough, im of this turf , outa this ruff
doing something worth, (ha)
Back into one thats worse....

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leave feedback PLEASe!!!!!

[Marth]

I'd like to leave feedback, but the rhymes are to wack sorry
and I still dont'got exacly what you wanna say with it
mayb eyou can work on it

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

I'd like to leave feedback, but the rhymes are to wack sorry
and I still dont'got exacly what you wanna say with it
mayb eyou can work on it

the rythms are wack ? wtf you on at least i didnt bite the shit ,

anywae i seen you shit and if thats rythming , ha

[Marth]

I never talked about rythm its great, i was talking about RHYME
words that are lookliking at eacohter

but it's good, But I just think you need to do some more shit at it