wrote this in like 5 minutes to the role model beat

[stevethetruth]

feedback please lol


I

[stevethetruth]

Stop rhyming just the last word.

dude what are you talking about there's rhymes in the middle of the lines read it closely
lol

-edit-
there reread the post i bolded the words that rhyme maybe that'll help

[Infliction]

its pretty good for a quick 5min spit, good job man i like ur shit

[Inzanity]

Stop rhyming just the last word.

dude what are you talking about there's rhymes in the middle of the lines read it closely
lol

-edit-
there reread the post i bolded the words that rhyme maybe that'll help

those aren't multis man they suck, try to make more then just the two words rhyme with eachother. For example take this line that u wrote

"I

[C-Game]

Stop rhyming just the last word.

dude what are you talking about there's rhymes in the middle of the lines read it closely
lol

-edit-
there reread the post i bolded the words that rhyme maybe that'll help

those aren't multis man they suck, try to make more then just the two words rhyme with eachother. For example take this line that u wrote

"I

[stevethetruth]

Stop rhyming just the last word.

dude what are you talking about there's rhymes in the middle of the lines read it closely
lol

-edit-
there reread the post i bolded the words that rhyme maybe that'll help

Nooo I mean at the end of the line.

Like,
If you were at the scene of the murder,
You wouldn't of even of seen or heard her,

At the end, it's not just the last word that rhymes, it's a few. Try doin' that, instead of just rhyming the last word on the line with the last word on the next line.

And yeah I did notice you was fillin' the lines with more rhymes, that was good, see you are gettin' better lol. Keep doing that stuff.

\
gotcha i'm def gonna try doing shit like that
thanks for the tip man
i misunderstood ya my bad lol

and plaspp, and Sarah thanks for the feedback lol

[Brihfl]

Stop rhyming just the last word.

Why are u so mean?!?

[Inzanity]

Stop rhyming just the last word.

Why are u so mean?!?

thats not being mean he was just giving him advice thats all

[stevethetruth]

Stop rhyming just the last word.

Why are u so mean?!?

thats not being mean he was just giving him advice thats all

Exactly.

I'm just giving him as much advice as I can so he can improve.

yeah what clarky said at first i thought he was being mean b ut then i realized he just wanted to help lol

[stevethetruth]

I wouldn't give nobody shit for trying, I'd only do that if I was some sort of amazing rapper.

lmao

[Inzanity]

I wouldn't give nobody shit for trying, I'd only do that if I was some sort of amazing rapper.

it's not giving him shit it's just helping him inprove. I mean when I post songs in here then I not only expect compliments but I would like some people to tell wat they didn't like about it so I can improve for the next time ya know wat I mean. I mean it's not like we're famous so we can't get advice from professionals thats why we get our advice from other people

[C-Game]

for a quick drop it is cool and the flow is cool too
i tried it to role model as well
works out perfectly

if u give time to it u can add more complexity
ur what if song is cool tooo