The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Long time no see

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Long time no see

Postby sneekykiddo » Nov 24th, '06, 06:51

:happy: Skl sucks - I've been missing out on too much TRshady forum goodies :p This is nothin.. just a random thingo I did during my exams. Was thinkin about how stupid emo ppl are.

Stop fussin over life, just kill yourself already
If you cant deal with shit, dont bother livin anyway
Cutting your wrists is just dumb, stop the crap
Take a chopper to your wrists, then we'll really see how the fuckin chemicals react
My life's more complicated than a DNA structure, wont deny the breakdowns
But killing yourself over bfs and pals, now thats just plain dumb
Dont be a let down to your family and most importantly yourself
Stop whining and pick yourself up, as much as you can
Do yourself a favour and take a walk and think about life
It'll amaze you how you can solve problems if you just think twice
Let's talk about friends, that issue about bad company
If you hang around druggies please do wake up to reality
Theyre just there to destroy you, ten minutes of high isnt called help
And 5 years down the road, if you still have a brain, you'd definately regret
It's called peer pressure, yeah I know about it
Im a teenager - almost all of us goes through this
Life is all about living and learning the hard way
You've got lessons and challenges every single day
It's also about surviving - through relationships, even finance
Yeah finance is a bitch to most of us, me and my friends
We want everything out there but theres not enough cash
Meh I'll stop bitching and get straight to the point
Point is life's worth living for and death shouldnt be in our thoughts.
User avatar
sneekykiddo
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 31
Joined: Jul 6th, '05, 12:12
Location: Singapore
Gender: Female

Postby Inzanity » Nov 24th, '06, 12:01

It was good it really didn't rhyme much and also try to use multi's and not so many basic words. I like the concept of it ya know the whole theme behind it was pretty kool. It didn't suck or anything it just didn't rhyme enough. Keep writing the more u write the better u'll get at it. And if u ever need help with something ur writing or if u just wanna collab pm me I'll show u how to do multi's and stuff. Anyway u did an ok job on this. Keep posting ur lyrics here I'ma try and keep up to date with wat ur writing cause' I think that ur gonna get alot better at it in time. btw r u new at this? cause' if u r then is show's lol no offense and if u aren't new at it then u must not practice much. So on one last note: remember practice makes perfect. Oh and stay active around here kiddo. btw how old r u?
User avatar
Inzanity
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1642
Joined: Jul 9th, '05, 00:49
Location: America
Gender: Female

Postby C-Game » Nov 24th, '06, 18:34

man u had the meanin
u have the structure
but it may work out if ur singin it to a tune
but man i think u shld think off the rappin aspect here
it didnt rhyme that much

i liked ur vocab and everythin work on ur rhymes bro and as EMptyPromises said Practice makes Perfect
User avatar
C-Game
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7930
Joined: Jul 24th, '06, 19:02
Location: THRONE of the KING OF KINGS
Gender: Male

Postby sneekykiddo » Nov 24th, '06, 19:57

Haha thats cool. I've been off from writing for over a year because of school - last time I was active in this forum was last year Sept I think and I won the competition then - but yeah as u guys say Im totally lackin practice ;) PS. I just turned 16
User avatar
sneekykiddo
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 31
Joined: Jul 6th, '05, 12:12
Location: Singapore
Gender: Female

Postby Inzanity » Nov 24th, '06, 20:04

sneekykiddo wrote:Haha thats cool. I've been off from writing for over a year because of school - last time I was active in this forum was last year Sept I think and I won the competition then - but yeah as u guys say Im totally lackin practice ;) PS. I just turned 16


well ur still young considering ur age u'll deffenitly be a good lyricist by the time u enter into ur 20's as long as u keep writing.
User avatar
Inzanity
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1642
Joined: Jul 9th, '05, 00:49
Location: America
Gender: Female

Postby Rae » Nov 24th, '06, 23:28

wow thats pretty cool ...

i dont like emo ppl 2 much myself ... lol

but yeah i would love 2 read sum more of ur stuff! :D

keep it up! :D
screename on Zune Social - HispanicLUVER

Image

I drink more than you, I party harder than you do, And my car is faster than yours too! RAWWRR!

www.myspace.com/harleyquinn667 <--- add me
User avatar
Rae
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1987
Joined: Feb 9th, '06, 19:38
Location: SC
Gender: Female


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron