Rest in Peace (feedback please) (updated **)

[runnerup]

hey.. a friend of mine died yesterday in a horrible way.

would appreciate feedback.

I miss you Gabriella and i honestly can't believe it
woke up early in the morning when i received it
i've lost two good friends the past year
it's like death just shifted to a higher gear
i took it cool, mama left the room and i shed a tear
why do lord keep taking those we hold dear
it makes me wonder if the end is near
you would have grown up with a great career
you were my friend when everyone else turned their back on me
who could imagine, you were so beutiful and promising
best in the class and always knew everything
i looked up to you and i still do
i will never forget what i've learned from you
i've known you since i was four
ever since i walked through that metal door
we will all miss you and i think you always knew
we all loved you and your influence always grew
i want to be there and support, but i can't crawl out of my shell
to show you i care, take one short farewell
life is unfair, you could have got a job at Vanity Fair
be a millionaire, or open your own affair
nothing could prepare me for this
and i haven't talked to you for two years
just imagine what Emma have to go through
best friends closer than sisters
lost her composer, heart runned over with a dozer, how come god chosed her
she need the most support and help from everyone closer
while i piece my life back together, fragile like a feather
take care of yourself all together, times will be better.


i might have spelled some words wrong i check it later.

[ShadyAngel]

i no how u feel hun.

its deep.

[MoBrat]

i like it its got good flow and i feel it my sister passed not long ago

[Rae]

that was good! ima sorry about your loss too ... i just lost a friend about a month ago, he was my best friend and he commited suicide and left me his suicide message on my voicemail a couple minutes before he did it.

but n e ways it was very deep, had good flow, and good rhymes.

[C-Game]

im sorry for ur loss
nice stuff btw