a love song....i kmow i know (FINSHED!!!!!!)

by **stevethetruth** » Jan 6th, '07, 07:29

but listening to a song got me in the mood

nothing special but here's what i have so far

Intro:

Yeah
(piano kicks in)Check it
This is for you check it
You

by **jenocide187** » Jan 6th, '07, 07:49

that was tight, though i was feelin the second verse more-so than the first, id work on the first a bit more if i was u. as for the second i have 2 suggestions, when u say "I never pictured you leaving not for a million years", IMO it would make more sense to put "not in a million years". not 4 a million years makes it sound like they left u for a million years, not liek u werent expecting them to 4 a million u know what im sayin? and the last thing is IMO it would flow better if u put "cause im here all alone" instead of "cause here i am all alone" when u say it al together it flows better. but who the fuck am i to criticise lol. excellent job, i liked it :thumbsup:

by **stevethetruth** » Jan 6th, '07, 07:57

jenocide187 wrote:that was tight, though i was feelin the second verse more-so than the first, id work on the first a bit more if i was u. as for the second i have 2 suggestions, when u say "I never pictured you leaving not for a million years", IMO it would make more sense to put "not in a million years". not 4 a million years makes it sound like they left u for a million years, not liek u werent expecting them to 4 a million u know what im sayin? and the last thing is IMO it would flow better if u put "cause im here all alone" instead of "cause here i am all alone" when u say it al together it flows better. but who the fuck am i to criticise lol. excellent job, i liked it

thanks the help that does actually make it sound better lol

and yeah i plan the frist part to be a chorus and idk bout the second part i might scrap it if i don't come up with anything better lol

but thanks once again

:D

by **jenocide187** » Jan 6th, '07, 08:11

no problem, happy to help

and i can see the first part workin 4 a chorus, and what u did to it made it even better

i wouldnt scrap it, just work on adding to it. i really like the 2nd verse, itd be a shame to have it scraped lol

by **stevethetruth** » Jan 6th, '07, 08:13

jenocide187 wrote:no problem, happy to help

and i can see the first part workin 4 a chorus, and what u did to it made it even better

i wouldnt scrap it, just work on adding to it. i really like the 2nd verse, itd be a shame to have it scraped lol

yeah i'll probably just add to it lol
thanks again for checking it out lol

by **C-Game** » Jan 6th, '07, 10:29

some nice lines thr steave
is it gonna turn up to a song or just some rhymin stuff u did

was the song "when im gone " u were listenin to

by **sinemm** » Jan 6th, '07, 10:48

oh different than we'r used to hearin from you
nice

by **ShadyAngel** » Jan 6th, '07, 16:10

thats real good hunny, i love it. you gota add to it!

by **Enimee** » Jan 6th, '07, 17:01

Yeah bet your punkazz wrote that for YOUR "girlfriend" too huh? you kinivin lil bastard

sike naww but chea good shit

by **stevethetruth** » Jan 6th, '07, 17:16

actually i was listening to "you" on this myspace http://www.myspace.com/jessyschram
and it got me the mood to write one lol

but thanks for the feedback everyone

:D
and it will turn into a full flegged song

by **stevethetruth** » Jan 6th, '07, 17:24

bump i added more to it

by **Rae** » Jan 6th, '07, 23:34

niiiiice stevey

lmao

ur soooo good @ written stuff ... btw i did read most of that lastnite

i was just messin around wit ya

ima soooooo glad we go out ... ur such a great rapper hunn

by **stevethetruth** » Jan 7th, '07, 04:38

lol thanks and :laughing:

you wish

by **jenocide187** » Jan 7th, '07, 05:06

dang, sounds a lot better with the stuff u added, nice job! ur good :worship:

by **stevethetruth** » Jan 7th, '07, 05:08

jenocide187 wrote:dang, sounds a lot better with the stuff u added, nice job! ur good

lol thanks a lot man

a love song....i kmow i know (FINSHED!!!!!!)

a love song....i kmow i know (FINSHED!!!!!!)

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