Homeless Agony ... Its not my post for it ...

by **Rae** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:05

Its not by me ... Its by ghost ... he was reading my post that ima gonna use ... and he wrote sumthin and wanted me to post it ... so yeah ima posting it for him ... i know most of u r gonna say it sucks just b/c its by him ... b/c watever screw ya'll if ya'll say that

ok life isnt fair thats a fact
but nobody even thinks to try and react
to make the world a better place
look at us were a discrase
we got homless mothers livin on the streets here in the united states
this shit is fuckin whacked man all you do is point and stare
they got lives to you know but you people just dont care
now i know this from experience cuz i been down that long road before
i used to be just lkike them goin door to door
lookin for a place to stay
man this world is fuckin gay
you see us on the streets why do you keep it that way
show sum fuckin love
these people ain just scrubs
you dont know their story
so why do you think your above
for all you know they had it all
but if its up you know it falls
cuz what goes up must gome down
peoples lives crumble down
but greedy people like us all just hold them down

by **,-,'-{Bar}-',-,** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:09

its kool...but for the guys ego it aint great :whistle:

i mean i know what you said but if you want a mc view of it...no multis lacks structure...on a creative wrting view its kool...structure could still be better and maybe a little better rythming..other than that its good :8)

i thought you ment ghost as in Hoopz...i was like WTF :confusion:

lol

by **Rae** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:13

no ... its my friend Ghost ... i have like 4 diff. friends named ghost ...

no offense ... but y u being so harsh?
when i post stuff ... ya'll dont do that ... ya'll just like

oh i liked it ... ur gettin betta
keep it up :flower:

but yeah n e wayz ... thanx 4 replying

by **,-,'-{Bar}-',-,** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:20

Rae wrote:no ... its my friend Ghost ... i have like 4 diff. friends named ghost ...

no offense ... but y u being so harsh?
when i post stuff ... ya'll dont do that ... ya'll just like

oh i liked it ... ur gettin betta
keep it up

but yeah n e wayz ... thanx 4 replying

no the first time you posted we probly said try this try that....like i said try improve structure and better rythming...i dunno this person abilities or what there trying to acheive..if they wanne get better i gave them advice on how to thats what its about.....if there are tryna be a mc type rapper i said they really need to try better....if there tryna be creaticing writing type of person i told then what to work on...i gave feed like i gave feed to everyone else....the next thing posted by that person id say you did this and that better keep it up but with there first peice of work i dunno anythign about them so i have nothing to base my keep it up statement or do i even know there goni post more.....dont try make me look like a bad guy i aint being harsh im doing what i do with ever persons first peice and what everyone did with mine....and it helped me when they did

by **Rae** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:26

oh hunn i wasnt tryin to make u feel like a bad guy ...

ima really sorrie if i came across that way .. .

i was j/c

my bad hunn ...

by **,-,'-{Bar}-',-,** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:30

Rae wrote:oh hunn i wasnt tryin to make u feel like a bad guy ...

ima really sorrie if i came across that way .. .

i was j/c

my bad hunn ...

its kool

you got to remember you been here a while when you post something most times we compare it to the last thing you wrote if its better we say so if not we dont :sweating:

if this person gets you to post more stuff then theyll get feed saying what to improve on and what they did imrove on from the last thing posted :sweating:

anywae i to work on my contest peice since i got put out the LW tournament on technical statistics

by **Rae** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:38

good luck with that hunn

by **TheWeirdoIsBack** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:54

I thought it was pretty cool. Some lines were bit long and I had to go back and read what was being rhymed so that's the only thing I'd tell him to work on, making the lines a bit smaller. But the overall idea was excellent, and if he has indeed lived the life he claims (I have no idear who the guy is so I can't say nothin' lol) then he captured it perfectly. If he writes anymore and you post it I'll definitely take a look.

by **Rae** » Jan 19th, '07, 01:58

yeah i'll make sure i post more of his stuff if he wants me too.

and yeah he did live that life ...

it was hard for both of us while that was happening to him.

but he got threw it

by **TheWeirdoIsBack** » Jan 19th, '07, 02:26

Rae wrote:yeah i'll make sure i post more of his stuff if he wants me too.

and yeah he did live that life ...

it was hard for both of us while that was happening to him.

but he got threw it

Glad to hear it :happy:

by **Flamez** » Jan 19th, '07, 08:42

well it was kool i liked it

Homeless Agony ... Its not my post for it ...

Homeless Agony ... Its not my post for it ...

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