open up

[Ka0t1c]

i constantly look down on myself
but somehow starting now
i gotta open up
so that possibly i'll
put on a smile not a frown
to show i'm tough
cuz i've grown from my fouls
and plus
i know we all fall
and i chose my own route
that i go for the long haul
and im just
hopin im called
back home when i've found
my goals with no doubt
but i only am going more out
on this road cuz im proudly
roamin this ground
focused to salvage
my throne and my crown
before im bones underground
and mostly im always
browsin the soul to corral
the control to rebound
not corrode to turn brown
cuz i owe you my vow
before in the soil i hault

[4D]

Not bad at all man, some nice multies in there. First few lines, I was like "Is this poem r somethin", but then the rhymes started to kick in, and it worked out well in the end, except for the last line. I think it sould've ended with another multi, because it was going well, and to stop the rhythm kind of took away what you had already built, imo.

Good work though man I liked it.

[Ka0t1c]

yeah, i had a problem there at the end i guess