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RAP INVASION

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RAP INVASION

Postby shady_aftermathzz » Jun 14th, '07, 06:37

Ya can say im some kinda
In the event of my Demise ---- Tupac

In the Event of My Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise





thanks to sinemm
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby Flamez » Jun 14th, '07, 06:41

fuck thats long lol

you should structure that cuz i don't think people will read this :sweating:
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby shady_aftermathzz » Jun 14th, '07, 06:46

nah its cool bru', if they wana' read it, they'll....its not like ima' go famous or nething lol
ima' go with the structure in future, im kinda' new in this rap shit/ thanks for the suggestions, much appreciated
peace
In the event of my Demise ---- Tupac

In the Event of My Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise





thanks to sinemm
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby Shady's_Back » Jun 14th, '07, 13:05

Nice I like it :b:
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby IceAxe » Jun 14th, '07, 16:06

yeah... definitely work on structure. That would've made this review easier to write.

The Subject: I guess it's just your introduction to the world or somethin, which is a good place to start. But it did seem to be all over the place. The transition between the different sub-topics in it weren't really fluid, so that loses some of the flow for me

Rhymes: You said you're new, so I expected your rhymes to be like they are, simple. I dont really enjoy the simple rhyme pattern, but that's the best way to go when you begin...so you're on the right path I think.

Flow: I couldn't really define a flow in this, but that was mostly because of the structure.

Keep up the work, you'll get better with time and practice
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby shady_aftermathzz » Jun 15th, '07, 16:25

well, i really wasnt expectin' that, i mean it was just something i wrote like i said before...im new and i didnt care about flow or structure or anything at all but thanks for the feeds ppl', much appreciated, ima' go for something better.
thanks again
peace

ps: somebody tell me how do i chose to battle against someone!! :sweating: :happy:
In the event of my Demise ---- Tupac

In the Event of My Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise





thanks to sinemm
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby C-Game » Jun 15th, '07, 19:03

call out someone
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby Tash8 » Jun 15th, '07, 20:58

I'd battle you but I am afraid i'd lose
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby shady_aftermathzz » Jun 15th, '07, 21:10

i seen ya shits, they good. it aint about losing or winning bru', im here to learn some shit n' i guess ur too....set the battle up and spit first n' btw i dont get to use the computer quite often but i'll drop ma shit as soon as i get the chance/ no beefs, no hate/ i'd have set it up but i donno' how n' where to.....
peace :wave:
In the event of my Demise ---- Tupac

In the Event of My Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise





thanks to sinemm
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby shady_aftermathzz » Jun 15th, '07, 21:13

C-Game wrote:call out someone


oh zeeeesss thanks bru', do we have a different section for calling out people ? :shifty:
In the event of my Demise ---- Tupac

In the Event of My Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise





thanks to sinemm
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User avatar
shady_aftermathzz
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Location: birmingham
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby C-Game » Jun 15th, '07, 21:21

shady_aftermathzz wrote:
C-Game wrote:call out someone


oh zeeeesss thanks bru', do we have a different section for calling out people ? :shifty:


yup
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Re: RAP INVASION

Postby shady_aftermathzz » Jun 15th, '07, 21:25

i really need glasses, i cant see things clear these dayz :'( too bad/
thanks c-game
In the event of my Demise ---- Tupac

In the Event of My Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise





thanks to sinemm
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User avatar
shady_aftermathzz
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Posts: 143
Joined: Jun 8th, '07, 09:23
Location: birmingham
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