Remember Me?

[Rain Matrix]

life gets colder and colder
look over yur shoulder
hold yur toaster
bring tha posers closure
yur getting older joker
this posters closer
2 making a sober toker
find chronic, rap, mine's accomplished
son my, minds honest
this is times longest, find on this
there is no rain, but u can sign convicts
drugs bring friendships down
thats why I want 2 end this now
damnit I'm a fan of booming sales
so what, there's room in jail
when they stop tha pay, ya dream quits
I swear, they get merits when they lock away a genius

[Tash8]

ok first of all, why the fuck are u using such a weird structure..

just casue u find some certain rhymes u dont' have to use them, like if ur trying to rhyme love, and u find dove and you say you love dove, but you weren't trying to say that then don't say it... it seems like rhymes are forced.l

sorry to be harsh because i'm tired of giving these good job nice shit, i'm gonna just be honest and tell you what to improve and that's what i hope people will do for me.

[Rain Matrix]

I'm not trying 2 beef, but that sounds like a lot of hate

I haven't dropped in a while and in no way am ashamed of tha above post

By tha way go on and call me out if u must I hope unlike tha others u have tha balls 2 drop

like yur balls that haven't dropped, anymore feed from anyone else I swear no more "constructive critism" rants and raves from me...

YO TASH WHERE'S YUR LW2 SIG BITCH!

[Tash8]

i dont wanna wera my sig it's ugly, but i'm still in bro

anyways
i was not trying to hate man, i was trying to give u feed that u could use rather than saying "nice shit" cause how does that help you besides giving u confidence? confidence is a big thing but critiscm is more important.

[4D]

I don't mind the structure at all. ONly time i've problems with the structure is when the rhymes are not identifiable. In this caase they are plain to see, and this is creative writing, there doesn't need to be a constraint on structure, flow, etc. We can advise, but only if they intend on entering rap battles. Rain knows the rap batles rules, so doesn't need this advice. He is experimenting with different rhyme structures, and that's cool with me.

However, I do think you took that first multi, a line or two too much. It just doesn't flow off the tongue or even in your head it's hard to say it properly, that's when you know there's a problem with it. Some of the multi's do seem alittle forced, but I still thought this was a good enough job by you Rain, better than I've been readin in here lately.

[shady_aftermathzz]

I don't mind the structure at all. ONly time i've problems with the structure is when the rhymes are not identifiable. In this caase they are plain to see, and this is creative writing, there doesn't need to be a constraint on structure, flow, etc. We can advise, but only if they intend on entering rap battles. Rain knows the rap batles rules, so doesn't need this advice. He is experimenting with different rhyme structures, and that's cool with me.

However, I do think you took that first multi, a line or two too much. It just doesn't flow off the tongue or even in your head it's hard to say it properly, that's when you know there's a problem with it. Some of the multi's do seem alittle forced, but I still thought this was a good enough job by you Rain, better than I've been readin in here lately.

ok

[Rain Matrix]

I figured I'd drop a keystyle cuz it had been awhile tash I din't mean 2 be harsh but I was drunk, and even sober I see clear rhymes depicting a glimpse of may come 2 pass

Thanx 2 all that left feedback 4 me

[Rae]

well i think this is good.
i mean i've def. see better from you.
but none the less its good.

i think the structure is a lil weird lol
but not bad either.
i think you made it work

keep it up hunn!