My poetry's tip-top (just some practice)

by 4D » Jun 28th, '07, 01:10

It's nought nought twenty four, almost 25 minutes past midnight
My written words fast ignite when I got the pen and pad in sight,
Just take a fast insight, to raps zip-tight, with avalanche flows,
Exposing posing camoflaged foes and aimin' to sabotage those,
I punch abs 'n smash toes 'n jab at tash/nose when fightin fully
My writin can be nice'n wooly, or be mad enough to frighten bullies,
Limitless at providin multies, verbal complexity and strong vocab,
I break beakers and burn bunsens burner in my rap songs flow-lab,
You get your fat long toe stabbed, for wearin those mouldy flip flops,
But you've more taste than chip shops if you're loving Fordie's hip-hop,
My poetry's tip-top, so tip toe 'n quick go, befo my sick flow goes sicko,
I`m so schizo I slit holes in my dick hose while I compose this sick prose.

just some rhyme practice, any feedback appreciated.

by **Tash8** » Jun 28th, '07, 01:15

you ain't punchin shit

4d is a dick <-- metaphorically killing you

oh!

btw nice shit

can you tell me the metaphores in that? cause i couldn't notice anything and i should be able to

by **J Roc** » Jun 28th, '07, 03:40

"with avalanche flows"
"My writin can be nice'n wooly,or be mad enough to frighten bullies"

metaphors^^

nice 4d,it went together good

by **C-Game** » Jun 28th, '07, 05:34

brilliant as usual mate :y:

Exposing posing camoflaged foes and aimin' to sabotage those,

my fave line :y:

by 4D » Jun 28th, '07, 08:49

@ Tash, there's a few metaphores in there, but not many. I wasn't goin for anything too complex, just some rhyme practice, cos I was bored and felt like doin some. The ones J-Roc mentioned are metaphores, but not very good ones. I must do a verse with only metaphores for practice actually, will do that soon. :y:

Thanks for the commetns people. :wave:

P.s Tash/nose is not a subliminal diss to you Tash, I meant to say that. Tash is just short for Moustache. Just incase you were thinkin that was a metaphore.