perma style//jus practisin a bit

[J Roc]

why must i be tha only one with talent-here?with gay-votes ill spray-throats an theyll call-it-fear
how come i am tha only one to test-my-skill?you wont-cry if u dont-try so yur best-to-kill
go ''molest''-a-pill cause im done-talkin-to-u,wit no-lies yur flow-dies wen i hit one-rock-into-u
2 make majik i only hav 2 graba pencil-an-paper,never-c-fine cuz every-rhyme is suspenceful-like-labor
givin-gifts in-this place caled creative-writin,u-see-dat its imposible 2-b-wack lik to see-natives-fiting
i switched so many styles this one is-permanent,bet yall-sayin call-satan cuz his-sermans-bent


explanaition

"molest a pill"--take a suicide pill
"2 make majik"-my rhymes are majic an i make them
"never c fine"-fine is ok,but my rhymes are better

yea i kno i gota big ego

u can say wat u think but this is mostly to help me get batter at this style

[James R.]

It's ok, not great though. It's just like you tried to rhyming everything to everything else in the line and it got confusing. Just because it's text doesn't mean you have to rhyme everything with something. Just try to calm down the rhyming because a lot of it seemed forced and made it difficult to read. Also messed the flow up a bit in some places.

[Tash8]

^ yea, the reason i like eminem more than papoose rhyming wise becasue papoose does it 2 much while eminem usually has only 1 rhyme per line.. which i think is a lot betta.

keep it up though

[J Roc]

It's ok, not great though. It's just like you tried to rhyming everything to everything else in the line and it got confusing. Just because it's text doesn't mean you have to rhyme everything with something. Just try to calm down the rhyming because a lot of it seemed forced and made it difficult to read. Also messed the flow up a bit in some places.

"2 make majik i only have 2 graba pencil-an-paper,never-see-fine cuz every-rhyme is suspenceful-like-labor"

thanks,i thot i ruined tha flow 2,but i thot that was my best line that flowed gud an wasent to forced^^

@tash--thanks,ill calm down my complex rhyme scheme for awhile

[Rain Matrix]

I'd keep a style similar 2 this just make sum tweaks 2 it, u had good vocab and visuals, other than that keep droppin

[Flamez]

it was ok man but i liked it

[C-Game]

well i liked da style
u have added complexity
but some times da flow is off ( halts)

anyway since da last drop i read from u ..it seems u have improved a lot

[J Roc]

lol ok ill try an work tha bugs out [flow,multies] an see wat i get,thanks for feedin everyone