feedback please, song im writing

[Doe Ray Me]

This nation is bullshit, so 'fucked-up', all these homeless 'peeps-in-the-streets'/
The goverment dont give a fuck, they think its 'tough-luck', more interested in 'keepin-the-peace'/
With other countries, but here 'people-starving' and they aint 'doin-nothin'/
Fuck all tha politicians, they just 'evil-hearted', paid to lie, always 'spewin-dumb-shit'/

Could i get some feedback on this, are there any structure problems, flow and so on, i know there r loads of talented folks here

Thanks in advance

[JMG]

it was good flow was a little off mostly on the last 2 lines but the rhymes were good

[Doe Ray Me]

can i get sum more feedback please

[C-Game]

yea da structre is off.. but wat im likin is da multies.. its really rare on TR a person joinin wit da knowledge of multies.. likin da way u hv linked da rhymes ,,

hope to c u battlin more often here on tr..

[Marth]

yeh it's gd u used multi's
the message is kinda bullshit
if u wanna write a song aboutt it u must study on it
( i'm trying to write a song getting information 2 years now )
but good tough keep the work up

[sinemm]

i aint so knowledged like the others about those multis or stuff but
i love the theme
and those lines are cool
and meaningfull

[shady4life!]

This nation is bullshit, so 'fucked-up', all these homeless 'peeps-in-the-streets'/
The goverment dont give a fuck, they think its 'tough-luck', more interested in 'keepin-the-peace'/
With other countries, but here 'people-starving' and they aint 'doin-nothin'/
Fuck all tha politicians, they just 'evil-hearted', paid to lie, always 'spewin-dumb-shit'/

[Doe Ray Me]

^^ wassup wit u? hatin cos u cant do it, makes ya look real good

u wanna battle, set it up, you'll get murked son

[shady4life!]

^^ wassup wit u? hatin cos u cant do it, makes ya look real good

u wanna battle, set it up, you'll get murked son

no its not that. Its a good drop i like it. Nice rhymes and everythin. But wat he said in it was a lil funny.

This nation is bullshit, so 'fucked-up', all these homeless 'peeps-in-the-streets'/
The goverment dont give a fuck, they think its 'tough-luck', more interested in 'keepin-the-peace'/
With other countries, but here 'people-starving' and they aint 'doin-nothin'/
Fuck all tha politicians, they just 'evil-hearted', paid to lie, always 'spewin-dumb-shit'/

wait hold up.... u talkin about the UK right? From that i read i can easily tell ur lackin knowledge from the rest of the world if u can complain about homeless and starvin people in the UK....be greatful its not that bad