Death's Another part Of Life

[notoriouS-K-M]

Ok so now I've got the start & I've got the end. But I'm stuck on as to what I should put b/w them.

[START]

Ready yourself, be prepared to leave on a moment's notice
Because one day you'll have to leave on 4 men's shoulders
Don't let your thoughts wander man, try to focus
You gotta not be afraid, You just gotta look straight
You gotta stare death, right in the eyes
Leave on your own terms; mighty in demise
Maintaining your dignity throughout in ya life
And in death, give an indepth analysis of what's next
Coming after death and when they hear this rap
They gonna say...............................................

[ENDING]

It's all over I'm sure
But wait there's more
As 'm lying taking the last of my breaths
Staring at the ceiling, waiting for death
I get a violent shock, a sudden flashback
My whole life passes before my eyes
I take a look around & let out a sigh
The breathing gets tight, my arteries begin to clot
My thoughts get foggy, the blood circulation stops
My lungs are failing me
This earth's what's been ailing me
I want the pain to stop
I quit, I wanna leave. Oh God!
Pain rises as I feel it in my left shoulder
My arm's paralyzed as if held down by a boulder
It hurts so bad
I can see the angel of death
He wants to help me, offers his hand
I take it. At last I'm free from this evil land
This vile earth, & now I return to the dirt
The same that was used to form me at birth.

[Vettori]

This is great for your frist time man....seriusly alot of people are soo shitty when they first start (dont get me wrong everyone starts from somewhere even i sucked lol)

I liked it and maybe if you work on your transition a bit more..Ull be up to par with alot of the mc's on here Good job man, lookin forward to finish reading this when its complete

[Arabian Shady]

i agree wid vettori
heres some advice.when ur writing it down , say it out loud n make a rhythm to it , that way if there is some sort of anomaly in the flow it finishes,get wat i'm sayin?
apart frm that it was a pretty strong drop,gd lines n heavy meaning
wiked
peace

[notoriouS-K-M]

Thanks guys I really appreciate the feed.& @ Arabian shady thanks for the advice I'll try that.

[SajN]

Thanks guys I really appreciate the food.

Anyway, it's a great text for your first time man
All advice I can give you is that what Vettori and Arabian Shady said.

Keep It up.

[sarmadkhan]

nice work man u shud go fo wha Arabian n Vet said

[notoriouS-K-M]

Thanks guys I really appreciate the food.

Keep It up.

LOL fixed that.

Anyway, it's a great text for your first time man
All advice I can give you is that what Vettori and Arabian Shady said.

Yeah I'm trying my best to follow their advice with the rest of the song

[notoriouS-K-M]

Yeah ok now please comment about the ending.Thx.

[Arabian Shady]

You improved it! the flow was there n you did have some pretty gd lines
wiked ,

I take it. At last I'm free from this evil land
This vile earth, & now I return to the dirt
The same that was used to form me at birth.

that was sick dude!!!!!

peace

[notoriouS-K-M]

Thanks dude. bump!