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Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

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Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

Postby Enimee » Jan 1st, '08, 19:17

Chorus :
What is happnin too this world
it has changed
alot fake actors out there
take all the fame
and leave us serious lyricists
with jus tha change
this is ma resolution to revolute
im done with this game
cant take it so ima get it off ma chest
unless yall got sumtin else to say?

verse 1:
ima take ur silence for an answer
and if no's your choice
then i might aswell let this flow destroy
ur depiction of me and the picture i see
i aint Michelangelo but a jack of my own trades
so dont point ur fingers at me
i dont need this drama and beef i just as soon hop up and leave
to much weight on ma shouldas like pounds for my lungs i cant breathe
so see this disease has spread to far and we're at ground zero
no robert neville jus us rappers as heroes
gotta step up and take responsiblity for the words and for the effect on the little girls
and boys who be thinkin we hard hear a little quick verse now they wanna roll like the mob
this shyts so thick and dense cant poke through it so hense we devour from within
cure this cancer with my friends ill fuckin cure this disease with my pen
or keys witch ever it may be at the time but when i decide to grab a mic consider it done
i speak with healing power call me a nun cept im a man so jus call me his son
and i mean it metaphoricaly so drop ur bibles this is a reach out no attacks so stop the violence

chorus


verse 2:
i guess ur stickin with the same decision
so ill speak up and make these lames listen
in thirty years what kinda fate do i invision?
the blood sweat and tears of many goin to waste with no pension
so yall see what i do and correct me for my wrongs
well wherez my medal for my right look correct me if im wrong
but if i was ta react today when someone pointed there fuckin finger at me
with such ferocity to wake a bear up out of his sleep
id be penalized and called a trouble maker stereotyped and labeled as such
but yesterday i backed down but no one saw that what the fuck
u only recognize our criminal actions with feedback u got from my subliminal back mouth
look im not just talkin smack now these words are meant for change like a goverment crackhouse
u feed it to us but expect us to go hungry no wonder we bite yo fist
listen if i was to rap about bush and call him gay i'd prolly get locked up cuz they dont like my shyt
but then again they allow comedy central to impersonate congress man this is hipacrace
to the point im makin up wordz man this is plain fake and absurd u claim that yall heard
my peoplz crys for help when katrina kame nockin yall was laxin like damn there jus blacks who the fuck cares
well i do so take...uhhh..hi ya...and the rest of my immaturities
im jus stoopin to yalls level fight fire with fire till yall learn to read
...now for verse 3.......


chorus



verse 3 : pending
Last edited by Enimee on Jan 4th, '08, 13:30, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Off MA Chest

Postby Arabian Shady » Jan 2nd, '08, 18:45

that drop was real meaningfull but it didnt have any flow
maybe its just me.i read it 4 times man -aloud but i coudnt find a decent flow to it
but the meaning was strong n dark
try improving the flow
peace
ArAbIaN ShAdY


We're all on the same page, Yet we're standing apart on different lines'
So when we face rage, Ya'll fake it and let THEM commit horrific crimes
50 years & going straight, Yet this performance aint worth your time,OUR
Shit is BACKSTAGE,Cause the front page aint worth Kashmir and Palestine.
"Front Page",Arabian Shady


FiNd mE At dA "CREATIVE SECTION", I AM ULTIMATE INNOVATION!!
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Re: Off MA Chest

Postby Rain Matrix » Jan 3rd, '08, 16:03

u have the talent and the rhymes

most of all tha drive

chorus was fire verse one was good

can't wait to see verse two
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Re: Off MA Chest

Postby SajN » Jan 4th, '08, 11:08

Nice verse and chorus :y:
As Arabian said, I couldn't feel the flow very well.
Other than that it's really great :y:
Keep it up. I am waiting for the second verse.
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Re: Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

Postby Enimee » Jan 5th, '08, 06:37

more feed plleeeeeeeeeease and thanks to those that did i preciate it
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Re: Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

Postby Arabian Shady » Jan 5th, '08, 09:41

u feed it to us but expect us to go hungry no wonder we bite yo fist
listen if i was to rap about bush and call him gay i'd prolly get locked up cuz they dont like my shyt
but then again they allow comedy central to impersonate congress man this is hipacrace
to the point im makin up wordz man this is plain fake and absurd u claim that yall heard


best lines rite there
dude heres the thing , u have to make ur lines even in length, its reali hard to grasp a flow without it, if u think u have the rite flow then try puttin in some commas or somthing cause no matter how wiked a verse is ,its shit wen u cant flow sick to it,get wat i'm sayin?
alll in all gr8
hope next verse improves
peace
ArAbIaN ShAdY


We're all on the same page, Yet we're standing apart on different lines'
So when we face rage, Ya'll fake it and let THEM commit horrific crimes
50 years & going straight, Yet this performance aint worth your time,OUR
Shit is BACKSTAGE,Cause the front page aint worth Kashmir and Palestine.
"Front Page",Arabian Shady


FiNd mE At dA "CREATIVE SECTION", I AM ULTIMATE INNOVATION!!
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Re: Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

Postby city » Jan 5th, '08, 23:32

yo this ish is mad dope :y: :y:
Windows tintied on my ride when i drive in it
so when i rob a bank, run and just dive in it
so i'll be disquised in it
and if anybody identifies the guy get it
i'll hide for five minutes
come back, shoot the eye witness
fire at the private eye hired to pry in my bussines
Die b*tches, bastards, brats, pets
this puppy's lucky i aint blast his *ss yet

I'm a CRIMINAL

Best Eminem song ever!
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Re: Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

Postby Enimee » Jan 6th, '08, 14:25

thanks a bunch people and bump
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Re: Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

Postby Makaveli525 » Jan 7th, '08, 03:22

man, that was deep... you had some real nice lines in there too
cosign the others about your flow, but other than that it was on point :y:
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Re: Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

Postby Jay-19 » Jan 7th, '08, 13:47

Great meaning in this, really deep lyrics. But it's been said before me, work the flow man.
I can't judge the flow just by reading it, because I have no idea how you flow, but I couldn't find a flow to keep through out the verses. But I feel like Arabian Shady, a verse with great lyrics ain't shit without the flow. So that's all you gotta work on, other than that, it's all great! :y:
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Re: Off MA Chest (dropped 2nd verse)

Postby SajN » Jan 9th, '08, 09:58

The flow is what you got to work on.
Other than that I did like the 2nd verse too.
You have some deep lyrics, and great lines.

Keep it up.
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