Did You Know (it's just a short poem) plz' leave feed thanx

[Inzanity]

Did You Know I'm proud of you, but I can't tell you the truth
You'll never know that I'm still in love with you
and I know that it's been a long time,
over 1/2 a decade since we said goodbye
I let you go, I should've never let you go
What did I do, how could I have chosen her over you
she broke my heart time and time again
I'm sorry Rachelle, I'm sorry because I chose Jen
but I guess with every 2marrow come's the concquence's
of the mistake's we make 2day, so now you've moved on
and Evey came along to take my place
So here I sit all alone, by myself written this poem
I wish I could take it back, but it's too late for that
I made my choice year's ago
I choose to walk down this tear filled road
It's too late for us, So I'll let you go ahead and marry Evey
and when I say you'll never know believe me
I'll never tell you the truth,
you'll never know that I'm still in love with you

[liljon]

kinda cool i like it

[Hadez]

it didn't seem very "poetic", more like a message to Rachel. almost as if it's just jotting thoughts on paper more so than writing your thought in an artistic way. except the first and last couplets, the way you began and ended it is used in several poems, propz on that

if you plan on workin on it a little, you should try adding some imagery or metaphors. a poem never fails when you have those two things fix it up a lil and keep the first n last couplets n it'd be a beastly poem.

[Inzanity]

it didn't seem very "poetic", more like a message to Rachel. almost as if it's just jotting thoughts on paper more so than writing your thought in an artistic way. except the first and last couplets, the way you began and ended it is used in several poems, propz on that

if you plan on workin on it a little, you should try adding some imagery or metaphors. a poem never fails when you have those two things fix it up a lil and keep the first n last couplets n it'd be a beastly poem.

thanx for the advice