thinkin positive!

by **Ka0t1c** » Mar 15th, '08, 21:20

an ultimate contender can often compliment when entered in the opposite, my challenge sent
so now the center we box with wits and not our fists cuz common sense often wins by 100%
offense that sends the audience twists like who is this, but my splendor, God's, so rich
i guess pay off's worth it, who'd want a problem with somebody which has got a gift
he does commit, what misfit would have the guts to get up, unfit because there's a lot to lift
and plus the risks comin from attempts to confront and rid is just too much to bid on to hit
don't touch my script: a good blueprint drawn so strict's become equipt in my loved lyrics
from abundant spirits, my run's more than sprint, til the sun doesn't exist, im gonna express
my war on the Government & the Politics, im formin talented, well balanced power shifts
once i plug in the outlet, my cord cuz volumeless is cowardness, i'll record what tolerance has worn
i wont counterfeit what's sworn out my lips, i'm bound to be forewarned, i doubt my exit is jolly n warm
it's prolly hectic, your hour to mourn or be proud i've been born, i found my niche and altered the norm
Kaotic's my nick, who brought thru a storm and i oughtta perform to all continents
i'll orbit the world like a rocket ship usin stores, im thinkin positive, thats what my future's for
and i'll submit

by **Boston** » Mar 15th, '08, 22:54

not trying to sound disrespectful or anything, just trying to help, but to me i think you "forcefully" wrote this. like trying to beat writers block in a way or something, you should try to organizing your writing more, shorten up bars and all that. it started off like it could of been a good concept, but i got totally lost and confused, i dont know if its because im high or not. lol. but keep it up. just write whatever is on your mind and let it out

by **Purple23Haze** » Mar 16th, '08, 00:51

Not to be a dick boston but your wrong dude that shit was tight what he wrote

by **Boston** » Mar 17th, '08, 03:16

okay, everyone is entitled to their own opinion
i wasnt trying to be a dick, im trying to help
but iight

by **Ka0t1c** » Mar 17th, '08, 04:20

what's wrong with this, the structure? the rhymes? not gangster? c'mon, let me know, cuz i like this a lot...

by **M-Pyre** » Mar 18th, '08, 01:31

"tonedeff" anyone :shifty:

idk but it reminded me of tonedeef, which is a VERY good thing

and yeah, the structure could have bin better, but that was it....for now :shifty:

by **Purple23Haze** » Mar 18th, '08, 02:03

Sorry yea its opinion

by **Boston** » Mar 19th, '08, 04:24

work on your structure, ands things like that
ill keep my eye when you post new shit
good luck and i wish u the best of luck

by **Rain Matrix** » Mar 19th, '08, 04:49

yo man tha rhymes were dope...

it was a sick drop I saw no flaws that took that much away from it

by **Arabian Shady** » Mar 22nd, '08, 08:02

that was bad ass,no question about that
but u shud have structured it man,it would have made it da bomb,
this right here, is the best piece i've eva read frm you :y: