Funny rhyme/lines *Cypher*!

[4D]

The rules are simple: say something funny. It doesn't have to be intelligent or lyrical, in fact it can be very funny when a rhyme is trying to be clever but is complete shit, we like that in this thread. Anything funny goes here, a line, a verse, 2 line rhyme, etc. It can be a parody, a diss to someone (Famous, or member here, no beef, just for a laugh). Don't spend too much time on the rhymes, don't worry about quality, lol.

I'll start it off:

I was born gang-bangin, with a shlong hangin like sausage skin,
The doc cut that and not my umbilical, so I swang up 'n socked his chin.

See, crap, keep it going.

[Tash8]

i got an award for my rhymes being platinum
ripped the freckles off lindsay's face and patent them

[4D]

(Lmao, nice one)

I smash mic's like a photograph, no don't laugh I'll choke your bowels,
I'll give you a slow death no sweat, ah shit I soaked 4 towels.

[Tornado]

you're gonna learn to fear, this mc word player
i'm like a tear gas sprayer, hitting anyone who be nearer
like your name was puffy, better hope you get lucky
i feels like i got aids, coz everybody try and duck me

probably not good but thats my contribution

[Steve Spag]

you can call me the captain because i'm runnin' this ship//
and if your gums'll be flappin', well i hope you can swim//

(4D that first drop you posted was fucking dope! haha)

[Noeezy]

im hot, like a computer overheated
when i drop, other rappers are not needed

[4D]

I`m as cool as a Fonzy Fridge magnet in Siberia,
I got rap bitches shootin their loads like Cytherea!

(Thanks Steve, good one yourself! )

[Crazy Sycho]

yesterday i met mcmaybe
he came over, said "get in my 91 mercedes"

[Tash8]

this is no beef, it's an instantaneous destruction
called up your mom, told her to abort her fetus that I'm fucking

[Steve Spag]

i draw bigger lines that a school cafeteria//
your rappin's familiar to a laughin' hysteria//

[4D]

Speaking of babies, I`m reekin of rabies and frothing at the mouth,
Like your nymphomaniac momma garglin cum always not a doubt!

[Tash8]

i tell all my friends to say no to violence
broke all their necks cause they failed to comply it

[Xray]

i was trynna write lyrics but a porn video came up
dropped the pen grabed my dick and shot the room up

[J Roc]

Yah RAPS DECIMALS From Wha I Spit,-Dude. Youll "Get-Schooled" Like MATH LESSONS !! OH, An ..
I HAVE QUESTIONS, SO.. Why Do You Have "MAN TESTICALS".. Ana "Pussy" Lika TRANSEXUAL !!/??
~Jroc

[4D]

i tell all my friends to say no to violence
broke all their necks cause they failed to comply it

That's good!

I'd love to get married 'n gives kids a chance but i`m not equipped to dance,
Because everytime a lady gives me a glimpse or glance I just shit my pants!