Just something I wrote a second ago.

[rap_gurl]

I just found out my dad cheated on my mom and wrote this to describe how I feel. Hope you will give me some feedback.

I sit here in the dark and burn the picture in my head
While I lie in my room all alone and cry on my bed
I understand now that I hate you from the bottom of my heart
I hate the feeling inside and the fact you pushed us apart
You f****d with my head, you’re making me crazy
I don’t see how you had me fooled it can still faze me
A thousand words never spoken they are forever left unsaid
And for eternity they will forever keep revolving inside my head
I just wanted to forget and still keep loving you
But no matter what I did my hate and anger just grew and grew
Don’t you understand all the respect I have ever had for you is gone?
What I don’t see is then why is it so difficult for me to just move on?
Right now I am confused right now I stand between loving and hating you
Its like no matter what you did I still don’t know where to belong
All I know is no matter what you say it still hurt and you know it was wrong
I will never forget that you screwed the family, For that stupid hoe!
And why? Just so you could get your booty, I can’t believe you could sink so low
I don’t understand why you don’t you see that no matter, she won’t always be there,
Its funny you see I thought you didnt have the guts, I thought you wouldn't dare
The worst thing however is you know what I hate myself, because I don’t even care.

[sinemm]

till the last part of it (will never forget that you screwed the family, For that stupid hoe! )it was pretty nice when the things he lines meant some general stuff and things that mot people can relate to (i dont mean you should write things that ppl can relate to but i talk about the concept of the whole thing if you get me)
i loved the way you played with the words and that you didnt make it meaningless just for rhymes and stuff

nice job
keep up

[Kosovic]

I am pretty sure that if i give my opinion, i will get flamed ad infinitum. Sooo, i juss say good work.