Living two Lives

[The Toy Soldier]

I need practice so im picking random topics.

after school today I came to my computer
to Rap battle on the internet and be a disputer
to lyrically fight and get in the fued
to speak out my story and sing my prelude
my ballad of topics, i got this, ive locked it
in my mind i will not fail
cuz im just like a convict inside a jail cell
imprisoned by his own acts
ill keep lyricising till i am intact
ima be compromising till my shit is a fact
and not some opinion slipping like wax
cuz my shit wont be wack not on here of course
cuz on the internet im cintrak this is my course
at school im just som horny boy speaking a language completely coarse
seems i cant get worse at school back to the nurse
just got my ass handed to me shit man this is a curse
why does my real life suck so much
but on here i am famous and the such
im respected here treated like i did something good
but on the real life i cant get in touch with my roots
right here im rapping underground
but on the surface ill just end up profound
cuz my material wont be found here at my school
im seen as a noone just a fucking tool
here im called a rapper at school im a fool
i need a renewal of my character need what i feed
so i can do my deed of rapping on the scene
here its like 8 mile i may be booed
but that in mind i can still be wooed
at school no one gives a shit about me im never yahooed
im just another white-mexican acting like im from some hood
im tired of it but i gotta live on
cuz i may be weak wanting to be the strong
this time however, i cnt prove them haters wrong.........

[Robbie G]

much better you added a lot more detail and ti was more complex. It flowed weird when I was reading it but that might just be me.

definanlty an improvement.

[The Toy Soldier]

much better you added a lot more detail and ti was more complex. It flowed weird when I was reading it but that might just be me.

definanlty an improvement.

yeah i have a little bit of flow problems but not as much as the way i read the way the flow is, but then again you can't explain how the flow goes on text without getting too complicated

thanks for the feedback tho.

[Ka0t1c]

that shit's pretty decent

definitely don't lose that...motivation, emotion or whatever you wanna call it, it's a good thing to keep inside your soul

[The Toy Soldier]

that shit's pretty decent

definitely don't lose that...motivation, emotion or whatever you wanna call it, it's a good thing to keep inside your soul

Thanks this means alot coming from you.