The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Earth's body

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Earth's body

Postby neversnooze » Sep 6th, '08, 01:16

this is more of an experiment for me, its suppose to be about the earth's core and the human body, i hope i was able to display my point...............enjoy(poetry)


The earths inner core is a humans functional heart
sphered in with emotions, untouched by lifeless hands
a girl passed through the veins like blood
naturally she became a part of me, keeping me stable
but left one night through the arteries, destroying all balance

capillaries rise up, increasing in thickness
from solid layer to outer liquid, running out of alternatives
injection of narcotics through the veins alters my mood
eases the pain for the final blow to soothe
the next stage in the level, steps up to the mantle
as I am almost plastic, like a quartz crystal
the lust of love fades away as I turn into crust

my love capacity reached deep melancholy
thanks to a bad nutrient
the mineral potassium hit critical level
both are equivalent for essential living
Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed
User avatar
neversnooze
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 997
Joined: Jun 11th, '08, 17:00
Gender: Male

Re: Earth's body

Postby Slim Zaddy » Sep 8th, '08, 08:35

nice work :y:
Image
z_em = Slim Zaddy = Zaid AQ which is my real name
User avatar
Slim Zaddy
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3764
Joined: Aug 21st, '08, 19:42
Location: never mind
Gender: Male

Re: Earth's body

Postby mcZu » Sep 8th, '08, 12:54

That was nice man, if you would turn it into a rap lyric it would be even greater...
As poem it's sick :y:

This one is my favourite:
as I am almost plastic, like a quartz crystal
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male

Re: Earth's body

Postby neversnooze » Sep 9th, '08, 02:40

i do want to write rap lyrics, i asked couple ppl on here but i got ignored haha,

thanks for the feed mcZu and z_me
Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed
User avatar
neversnooze
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 997
Joined: Jun 11th, '08, 17:00
Gender: Male

Re: Earth's body

Postby neversnooze » Sep 10th, '08, 02:35

thanks for the compliment mcmaybe, yea if u dont mind helping me out write lyrics id appreciate but who can i get to sing it? :worship: :happy:
Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed
User avatar
neversnooze
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 997
Joined: Jun 11th, '08, 17:00
Gender: Male

Re: Earth's body

Postby Steve Spag » Sep 10th, '08, 02:40

Pretty nice stuff. I like the style, real thoughfull.
Keep it up :y:
Former Rap God
Image
Image
User avatar
Steve Spag
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3055
Joined: Jul 14th, '06, 21:08
Location: Top Secret.
Gender: Male

Re: Earth's body

Postby enjinn » Sep 10th, '08, 08:05

real nice concept...you worked well with it
each one teaches one
User avatar
enjinn
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 309
Joined: Aug 28th, '08, 06:00
Location: germany
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users