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In A Bad Shape [verse]

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In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Xray » Sep 22nd, '08, 09:43

just a verse i wrote in the morning before i sleep, was very very tired but also in the mood so here it goes.

He's in a bad shape, urgently needing aid
physically out of date, it's all becoming late
love's turning into hate, but at least his hatred stayed
his-luck-sucks and delayed, stress till his dieing day
father's a fucking dick, mother's the cause he hates
give him a fucking break, this kid he has no space
no blog or someone to confess to, only can speakers hear him
and they don't communicate, only replay there victim
his tired of life and life stinks, from traps to daily writings
from sleep to horizon rising, his life is blank and whitening
also precisely tightening, to a point till its squashed
crushed into dust from the pressure that he loved
created from the mud, so when it rains he disapears
vanished into the surface, became his own tears
what has life left him with? why must he always lift?
why can't his life lift him while he just has to live?


appreciate it if you leave some feedback :b:
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby yoshi » Sep 22nd, '08, 13:10

his tired of life and life stinks


ROFL


good one, you sick human being, i especially like this part:

crushed into dust from the pressure that he loved
created from the mud, so when it rains he disapears
vanished into the surface, became his own tears

:wub:
Maybe wrote:I'm so awesome, I don't mind looking desperate.

Chet wrote:Fuck House. If I wanted to watch a sarcastic person in the medical field, I would stalk Yoshi :8)
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Jay-19 » Sep 22nd, '08, 14:51

Some really good shit man! Great concept and well written. :y: :8)
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Steve Spag » Sep 22nd, '08, 18:41

Pretty good man. Towards the end it kinda reminded me of some poetry stuff, but I like that, it was sick. The begining was real good, liked the structure of it, and you had some good lines.

Keep it up bro!
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Xray » Sep 22nd, '08, 20:53

appreciate the feed, glad y'all liked it :flower:
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Xray » Sep 23rd, '08, 02:07

anymore feed?
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Sep 23rd, '08, 02:09

came off as a peom/story when i read it, i didnt flow it i spoke it if that makes sense, but it was dope man good writing :y:
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Xray » Sep 23rd, '08, 02:11

,-,'-{Bar}-',-, wrote:came off as a peom/story when i read it, i didnt flow it i spoke it if that makes sense, but it was dope man good writing :y:

thanks bro :y:
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Arabian Shady » Sep 23rd, '08, 06:23

thats some sick shit man, straight fire, flow was insane, and reali sick concept.
nice vocab and simply put-awesome verse :y:
Peace

Is this the one you did after i left? lol
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We're all on the same page, Yet we're standing apart on different lines'
So when we face rage, Ya'll fake it and let THEM commit horrific crimes
50 years & going straight, Yet this performance aint worth your time,OUR
Shit is BACKSTAGE,Cause the front page aint worth Kashmir and Palestine.
"Front Page",Arabian Shady


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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Xray » Sep 23rd, '08, 15:30

Arabian Shady wrote:thats some sick shit man, straight fire, flow was insane, and reali sick concept.
nice vocab and simply put-awesome verse :y:
Peace

Is this the one you did after i left? lol

thanks bro..and yeah sort of
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Ka0t1c » Sep 24th, '08, 05:00

great structure and being poetic :y:
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Xray » Sep 24th, '08, 05:26

thanks kaotic :y:
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby The Toy Soldier » Sep 24th, '08, 05:44

love's turning into hate, but at least his hatred stayed
his-luck-sucks and delayed, stress till his dieing day


^^^I like that line, cuz i can relate to it.
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Re: In A Bad Shape [verse]

Postby Xray » Sep 25th, '08, 01:55

The Toy Soldier wrote:love's turning into hate, but at least his hatred stayed
his-luck-sucks and delayed, stress till his dieing day


^^^I like that line, cuz i can relate to it.

cool bro, good looking :y:
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Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
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