I need feedback

[Emadyville]

Ok since I feed basically every verse I read on here, I really need everyone's opinion. I'm doing this song with a group of rappers whose label I'm getting signed to for my next album, and I really want to shine on this song. It's called "We ain't gangstas". So I wrote this verse, please leave some feedback.

We ain’t from the hood, we ain’t gangsters,
We don’t shoot shoot, but our music is bangers,
Enough of the who’s who, we ain’t strangers,
We just live to write, the studio’s our chambers,
When we grab the mic it’s our life and property,
Properly spit sick shit with no apology,
Anomalies hit it big with stupid shit you gotta-see,
How a lotta-me knows why they so commonly
View rap with hatred and one big monopoly,
I rhyme all day and to me I spit honestly,
And I probably won’t live up to the prodigy,
I labeled myself, but at least I’m not a fake gangster

I really like the first 4 lines, it's the rest I'm not sure about. Thank you all in advance.

[Steve Spag]

I like it all, it's really well written, had a nice complex structure to it with a good vocab. Only thing I have a problem with is the last line, since the end doesn't rhyme with the ending of the last line before it, it doesn't sound as good as it could.

Awesome verse though, deffinetly keep it up!

[Emadyville]

I like it all, it's really well written, had a nice complex structure to it with a good vocab. Only thing I have a problem with is the last line, since the end doesn't rhyme with the ending of the last line before it, it doesn't sound as good as it could.

Awesome verse though, deffinetly keep it up!

Yeah I know about the last line, I figured not rhyming might add to it, kinda making it more distinct cause it doesn't rhyme, if ya know what I mean. Thanks for the quick feedback.

[Ka0t1c]

all n all it's good, i don't have a problem with the last line

[Emadyville]

all n all it's good, i don't have a problem with the last line

Thanks

[DelinQuent]

as spag said, my only complaint is the last line.

not rhyming makes it seem like you had nothing to rhyme it with lol.

i love the concept of it though. good shit

[Emadyville]

as spag said, my only complaint is the last line.

not rhyming makes it seem like you had nothing to rhyme it with lol.

i love the concept of it though. good shit

Ok well I have a few words to rhyme it with, i'll rework it.

[Samdog2]

Ya i don't know if you are changing the last line, i tried some rhymes not too good tho

i labeled myself, and my preferred name is not a fake gangster

i labeled myself, i'll make sure that i am not a fake gangster


haha idk

[mcZu]

Nice, great verse

My favourite part:

Anomalies hit it big with stupid shit you gotta-see,
How a lotta-me knows why they so commonly
View rap with hatred and one big monopoly,
I rhyme all day and to me I spit honestly,
And I probably won’t live up to the prodigy,

And then comes the point were I agree with steve and DQ, the last line needs somethign to rhyme with..

Probably if you pauze a bit b'tween

And I probably won’t live up to the prodigy

And the last line

I labeled myself, but at least I’m not a fake gangster

If something like that occurs in the actual song, then it's ok I think.

But the concept was great, only it seems like you contradict yoursefl a bit, i mean the title is ''We aint gangstas'' and then you say in the last line '' atleast I'm no fake gangster''.. I dunno, maybe you used it as a way to show that alott of so called gangstas in the music busines are actual not and that your not like them...
But never mind, it's was a great verse
Nice rhymes
and a great concept

Nice job man

[DelinQuent]

i think he was trying to say he's not a gangster and he doesnt try to be.

[SajN]

Nice verse!

Not really "big" rhymes, but they work really well

I liked the middle of the verse, but also the whole


Good!

[Emadyville]

Nice, great verse

My favourite part:

Anomalies hit it big with stupid shit you gotta-see,
How a lotta-me knows why they so commonly
View rap with hatred and one big monopoly,
I rhyme all day and to me I spit honestly,
And I probably won’t live up to the prodigy,

And then comes the point were I agree with steve and DQ, the last line needs somethign to rhyme with..

Probably if you pauze a bit b'tween

And I probably won’t live up to the prodigy

And the last line

I labeled myself, but at least I’m not a fake gangster

If something like that occurs in the actual song, then it's ok I think.

But the concept was great, only it seems like you contradict yoursefl a bit, i mean the title is ''We aint gangstas'' and then you say in the last line '' atleast I'm no fake gangster''.. I dunno, maybe you used it as a way to show that alott of so called gangstas in the music busines are actual not and that your not like them...
But never mind, it's was a great verse
Nice rhymes
and a great concept

Nice job man

Good point, I think that does make sense, like at the end i'm saying i'm gangster and hate the "fake" gangsters. I guess i was venting at the fakes, even tho i'm nothing near nor will i ever be a gangsta. But thanks for the feed, and from everyone else too.

[Robbie G]

I liked it man. My first thought was like oh god not another song about fake gangsters, because it seems like every underground rapper does it.

You definantly killed this though, good job.

[Emadyville]

I liked it man. My first thought was like oh god not another song about fake gangsters, because it seems like every underground rapper does it.

You definantly killed this though, good job.

Damn thank you.

[Emadyville]

Ok what you all think of this ending now?

View rap with hatred and one big monopoly,
I rhyme all day and to me I spit honestly,
Therefore I probably deserve the label prodigy,
But if you think I’m gangsta you ain’t thinking logically,